Control
by Gold Scribbles
Summary: Heretic Vampire. Humanity Switch. On or Off? Bonnie x Kai.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note** : For the record, this Heretic Vampire business is an absurd loophole. It makes absolutely no sense, and I rolled my eyes so hard I nearly pulled a muscle when they introduced it. But with the way Season Six ended along with my inability to let sleeping dogs lie, I'll play along. Thanks to malachaibennett for the beta help!

 **Control**

 **xxx**

"You won't believe me, Bonnie, but I just want you to know that despite all of this," Kai spreads his arms, gesturing to the carnage around them with a bashful grin, "I actually _like_ weddings."

A strangled gasp fills the air.

"It's true! Everyone's all nice and fancy. There's _cake_. What's not to love about people gathering to participate in some mass delusion of a happily ever after? I was _super_ bummed when I didn't get an invitation from Jo. I mean, you'd think being her twin brother and the leader of the Gemini Coven would make you number one on the guest list." He twists the long-stemmed rose in his blood-stained hands. "Then again, maybe I was invited and my letter just got lost in the mail between dimensions."

He tilts his head at the quiet room. "Is that a guilty silence I hear, or did you finally die?" A barely audible wheeze floats to his ears. "Ah, guilty it is. Although it sounds like you're not too far off from the latter."

Kai stands up, tossing the flower aside and walks over to where her body landed in the debris. "Looks like dear old Damon is a no-show," he sighs, exasperated. "The whole point was that this would torture him for a while, you know? Kill the best friend to get the girl, and have the girl hate you forever. Or let the best friend live, and be alone for seventy-so years while wanting to kill her." Knees cracking, he crouches down with a mischievous grin. "Between you and me, I'd have put money down on him snapping your neck no more than two years in. Damon's a selfish guy."

A tear rolls out of the corner of her eye, streaking past her temple and disappearing into her hairline. The blood leaking out of her mouth starts to dry. Her heartbeat slows.

Then blood—magical, healing blood—floods her mouth. Bonnie swallows reflexively at first, then her hands come up to grip the wrist pressed against her mouth. She shuts her eyes tightly and drinks deeply.

Kai doesn't anticipate the effects. His jaw drops at the heady sensation of her lips urgently drawing blood out of his wound. He can hear her body repair every break and every tear as his blood flows inside her. Soon enough, her lungs have no trouble reaching for air. Her heartbeat is steady and strong, yet she still holds on, desperate to not die again. She tongues the seam of the nearly closed cut on his wrist and he moans, eyes bleeding red for a moment before he regains control. "And here I thought I was the only vampire in the room."

His voice snaps her out of her panic and she rips her mouth away from him. Her green eyes are clearer now, sharp with the instinct to survive. She tries to move away, but his hand on her shoulder pins her to the floor.

"Kai." Her tone is equal parts anger and caution.

A smile slits his face, hovering inches away from hers. "Hi."

His hand moves up to cradle her face, thumbs gently stroking her cheekbones. He shushes her when she cries out. "Don't worry, I'm just taking a little to keep you calm," he croons, fingertips glowing. "Can't have you breaking my bones again when I'm so low on blood right now. You're welcome, by the way."

"Bonnie!"

He glances over his shoulders and sees Damon at the entrance of the reception room, struggling to enter.

"Damon," she calls out, sounding annoyingly relieved.

Kai clenches his jaw, but forces himself to relax. He stands up and holds his arms out with a wry smile. "Now you show up? I hate to break it to you, Damon, but I'm afraid you missed your chance. I had a dying Bonnie Bennett delivered to you on a silver platter, and you had the nerve to be late. Really, how inconsiderate can you be?"

"Aren't you dying from a werewolf bite? I think it's inconsiderate that you're still alive."

Kai beams. "I'm fine now, thank you for asking. Sucked the magic right out of the bite."

"Of course you did," Damon grouses.

"I am pretty resilient."

"Let her go, Kai, or I swear I'll test that theory."

"Why don't you come over here and make me?" He moves closer to the entrance as Damon struggles against the barrier. "Oh, that's right. I put a ward up to keep supernatural beings out."

"If you hurt her—"

"I'll be doing you a favor." Kai tilts his head challengingly. "It's the truth, isn't it? Someone offs Bonnie and you get Elena back with no guilty conscience darkening your reunion. And since you can't enter this room, I'd be taking the choice away from you, and pulling you out of this sticky situation. Are you really going to tell me that deep down it's not what you really want?"

Damon glares murderously, and Kai laughs in his face. "Hear that, Bonster?" he calls out over his shoulder. "He's not going to pick you. But you already knew that, didn't you?" He walks back to her side just as she manages to stand up.

"Bonnie, I'll get you out of this. I promise," Damon says, staring at the blood smeared across her lips and the tear stains on her face.

"It's a little late for big declarations. We all heard your silence." Kai moves behind her and rests his hands firmly on her shoulders, ignoring her flinch. "Hey Damon, you've met my dad, right? I'm sure he showed you our coven's favorite trick."

His eyes widen. "Don't—"

" _Invisique."_

 **xxx**

Kai takes her deep into the woods on the outskirts of town. With the full moon in the sky and the quiet stillness of the night around them, it reminds him of the last time he had her alone. All they were missing was snow.

Bonnie twists in his grasp. "Let go of me!"

"I told you I'd to make you suffer in new and inspired ways." Kai presses his body against her back, savoring the tension stiffening her spine. "You're not getting off so easily," he whispers playfully into her ear.

" _Motus!_ "

He stumbles backwards, and laughs as she collapses without his support, winded from the spell. Despite himself, he's impressed she can still use magic in her current state.

"I wouldn't try that again if I were you," he warns. "You're running low on witchy woo. The next one might be your last."

She crawls her way to the nearest tree, before slowly getting to her feet, leaning heavily against the trunk for balance. It's pathetic to watch, and he's unsettled by the wisp of empathy that rises in him.

"What do you want, Kai?"

"Oh, you know the answer to that, Bonnie. I wanted to _not_ be left behind in 1903. I'm not sure if you fully realize this, but food was _very_ scarce back then, and modern comforts? Didn't exist yet."

"But you made time traveling seem like _so_ much fun. Who was I to shorten your trip?" She smiles sweet and unrepentant, her eyes silently telling him that she doesn't care. She doesn't care that she left him to rot, and it hollows him out. It's unfair how he is _still_ so stupidly affected by her when she remains unmoved by him.

"Well, what wasn't fun was becoming food for a group of desiccated heretics." His eyes narrow. "I spent a week fading in and out while they drank their fill. Didn't die though, obviously. Apparently no one dies in the prison world, even if you don't have a drop of blood left in your body. Go figure. Guess we got all frantic about you killing yourself for nothing."

She jerks back in surprise. "What are you...how did you know that?"

"Typical," he tsks. "They beg a witch to do the grunt work and then take all the credit when it's done. How did you think you knew where to find the headstone?"

For the first time, she looks at him without suspicion and anger darkening her features. Her eyes flicker over his face while she sifts through her memories to that moment. "The map. That was you?" she asks in disbelief.

The corners of his lips lift in a sardonic smile. "Did Damon not tell you this when I asked him to set up a meeting with you? I'm going to have some words with him later. Of course it was me. Risked my life casting an untested spell trying to help your friends send you that message. Got stabbed in the middle of it, but I persevered, you know? I believe that's two _thank yous_ you owe me now."

Her expression scrunches up in anger, wiping away her shock. "You think you deserve _gratitude_? You're the reason I was stuck there in the first place!"

A wave of magic slams her against the tree. "We're never going to see eye-to-eye on the events leading up to me leaving 1994 without you, so let's just agree to disagree," he says lowly. "However, I've tried telling you on multiple occasions that I underwent a distinct change after the merge, and that the me I am now is not the me that gutted you and left you for dead. I even helped get Damon's insane mother back against my better judgment, but what did I get in return?" Kai clenches his jaw and bares his teeth in an imitation of a smile. "No good deed goes unpunished after all."

Bonnie tilts her head up proudly, stoking his rage. "Fine. I'm listening now. If you've really changed, undo the spell. Unlink me from Elena so that she wakes up."

"Didn't you hear me earlier? Here, I'll explain it again in a way you can understand." He clears his throat, before speaking, slowly enunciating each syllable. "I can't. I died. Spell is _permanent_."

"I don't believe you."

He shrugs, tugging the sticky collar of his blood-soaked shirt away from his neck. "You are entitled to your very wrong beliefs."

"You know a way around it. Tell me what it is!"

Instantly he is in front of her with his hand on her neck. "Even if I knew about this nonexistent loophole, what makes you think I would tell you?" he asks lightly. "What makes you think I would ever go out of my way again to help you or your ragtag band of misfits?" He pauses, eyes dilating as he feels her pulse underneath his thumb—a warm, rhythmic beat that echoes tantalizingly in his ears.

His fangs drop.

"Kai," she breathes warily.

"Well, this is new." He carefully tongues the sharp tips. "You know, after being stuck in 1994 for so long, I think becoming a vampire is the right path for me. I've been ageless for eighteen years. I'm not sure how much I would have enjoyed growing senile and gray." He relaxes, and the magic holding her down disappears. She tries to wrench his hand away to no avail. "I can see the sweat well out of your pores, Bon. I can hear your heart pounding away, moving all that delicious blood through your body." He leans in close, eyes bleeding red, the veins around his eyes pulsing in anticipation. "You won't mind if I have a little taste, will you? Just something to take the edge off. I'm just so _thirsty_."

"Kai, stop!" she screams, bracing herself as his fangs scrape over her neck.

His teeth are poised to sink deep. He can hear the rush of blood calling to him, but can't bring himself to break skin. Something makes him hesitate, makes him _feel_ _bad_. Furious with himself, he rips away from her with a growl and turns away, pacing. His magic crackles around them before he takes a deep breath and calms down.

He turns back to her. Bonnie's holding back tears, one hand shakily covering where his teeth grazed her. Her distress angers him, upsets him. A lot. He doesn't know what it means.

"You should have just given me that second chance, Bonnie," he says with a lightness he doesn't feel.

"You didn't deserve it," she accuses, slowly moving away from him. She means to run. He decides to let her have the head start. "Murdering your siblings is hardly a sign of sanity and atonement."

"Well you should be thankful for that. I have every reason to drain you dry right here and now. It's what any _sane_ vampire would do in my shoes. But thanks to the merge and Luke's annoying habit of being empathetic, I can't bring myself to eat you."

"My condolences," she says sarcastically.

He runs a hand through his hair and lets out an agitated sigh. "Feelings. Who needs them?" Kai stills as a thought occurs to him. "Certainly not a monster like me…"

Bonnie stops backing away, alarmed at his contemplative expression. "No. Kai, you can't."

"Why not? This seems like the logical next step in the vampire grieving process. Caroline flipped it when her mom died." Kai looks down, despondent. "I'm the sole survivor of the Gemini Coven, Bon. I don't think I can bear that burden."

"Don't you dare compare yourself to Caroline," she demands, furious. "Her mother was terminally ill. You _murdered_ your coven. You're the reason you're alone, and you don't even care."

"Maybe not," he concedes, dropping the act with an easy grin, "but I still have the option of turning off my humanity. Feelings are hard, and I'm not good with them. I miss the old me, you know? I was more assertive, and didn't let things compassion and guilt get in my way."

"Is that so terrible to you? Caring about other people?"

"It is when no one believes you're sincere," he replies, pinning her with his gaze. She doesn't look away, doesn't blink, but he can still read her emotions, still see the unwilling speck of doubt bloom in her green eyes. She could read him the same way too, if she wanted. It's an exposed weakness he doesn't need, and won't have for much longer. "All caring got me was a golden ticket to another miserable prison world. You didn't trust that I had changed and marooned me in 1903."

She shakes her head vehemently. "You don't get to blame this on me. _You left me!_ And when I came back, I didn't feel safe because you were here too. I kept thinking you would appear out of nowhere and stab me again. You escaping 1994 was a mistake, so I fixed it."

"I'm flattered I've been on your mind so much. Really, it does wonders for my ego. I've been thinking a lot about you too. But here's the thing, Bonnie." He strides up to her with quick, angry steps. "I was put in a cage for nearly twenty years. I wasn't going to repeat that experience. So I got out, and made sure _no one_ could ever do it again. You can't banish someone to a prison world if it no longer exists, and it doesn't if the leader of the Gemini Coven dies."

He smiles brightly, enjoying the way it unsettles her. "You said the old me was still inside of me somewhere. Let's prove you right, and have him come out to play."

He closes his eyes, blocking out her protests, and searches for the switch. It's easier to find than he anticipates.

When Kai opens his eyes again, he sees Bonnie, just as distressed as she was a moment ago, and doesn't care. It's liberating.

"I feel so much better already," he sighs in relief, rolling his shoulders back. "Now, how about that taste?"

His fangs sink into her warm neck, tapping into an artery almost immediately. Her blood rushes over his tongue and he groans. She tastes incredible, sweet and thick and, _oh god_ , the _power_. It makes his head spin and his body hum with pent up energy. He bites down harder, holding her flushed against him. She screams and tries to twist away, her hands pushing against his shoulders. Her movements make his teeth tear the wound wider, sending a fresh gush of blood into his mouth.

Slowly she stops resisting. Her hands twitch weakly on his shoulders, and he pretends it's a caress.

Through the fevered haze of his bloodlust, Kai registers Bonnie growing limp in his arms. Reluctantly, he retracts his teeth. Blood wells in the puncture wounds, and like an addict, he laps at it, eager for one more taste. He cleans her that way, and doesn't let a single drop go to waste. When he pulls back just enough to look at her, the veins under his eyes are still fading beneath his skin. He spots the dried trail of blood on her chin and swallows tightly. He leans close to lick it off her skin, ending at the corner of her mouth, and smiles against her.

"You are absolutely mouthwatering, Bonnie Bennett," Kai whispers ardently against her lips. "I don't think I can give you up just yet." He glides his teeth over his palm, watching a red line rise from his skin, and presses it against her lips.

He doesn't realize how much he took from her until now. Her eyes barely stay open, and she takes one small sip at a time. It exasperates him that she's so close to death, but there's no other way around it. He sits down and gathers her in his lap, keeping his bleeding hand over her mouth. His other hand gently strokes the length of her neck, encouraging her reflex to swallow. "You better not die on me," he says in a lilting tune. "There's still so much fun to be had together."

When he's sure she'll make it through the night, he carries her back to the Whitmore dorms. After a few suspicious students question him and two dead bodies to drain and bury later, Kai finds her room and tucks her into bed.

He lightly traces her features with the tip of his finger. "Don't you worry, Bonster," he grins down at her, before mimicking a deep, robotic tone, "I'll be back."


	2. Part I

**Part I**

 **xxx**

They seal Elena in the Salvatore crypt.

Kai disappears along with the bodies of the Gemini Coven, including Jo's.

The current theory is that he went back to Portland to bury the dead out of some residue sense of obligation. Damon, Alaric and Stefan leave to hunt him down, for revenge, for grief, for Elena.

Caroline stays. Together, they return to Whitmore College and move into their off-campus two-bedroom apartment.

"If they're wrong about where Kai is, I'll be here to protect you." Caroline crosses her arms, and presses her lips together. "I let you down when you came back. I turned my humanity off and didn't care when I saw you again, even though I've missed you _so_ _much_. And when I turned it back on, I was so busy being mad at myself and trying to avoid those emotions about my mom and Stefan, that I didn't even stop to check in with you and how you were doing."

"You were grieving. I understand." Bonnie turns away to put the last of her clothes in the drawers, before glancing back at her.

Caroline nods, face pinched in an effort to hold back tears. "Well, you shouldn't. It was the coward's way out. I was trying to avoid the pain and I made everything worse."

"Care, I've lost so many family members in the last few years. Trust me, if I had a switch that could make the pain go away, I would've done the same thing. So would a lot of other people. Don't be so hard on yourself."

She gives a watery grin. "You wouldn't have done it, but thanks for saying that." Caroline shakes her head. "So this is my promise never, _ever_ even think about going near my humanity switch again. No more avoiding the bad feelings. You can't really run away anyway. The only way out is in."

Bonnie exhales with a small smile. "Those are some wise words. Did you get that from Psych 101?"

"First of all, that concept is much too advanced for Psych 101," she corrects. "And second, it was a book from 21st Century American Lit." She perks up, eager to change subjects. "Speaking of! I've taken the liberty of registering you for spring classes. It's a bit heavy on the course load, but trust me, you need to get through it if you have any hopes to graduate with me in two years. I already compelled your way through Freshman year, and got the registrar to accept your late enrollment twice. No more supernatural cheats. We are going to do this the honest way. And before you mention it, _no_. You may not stay an extra year. I forbid it."

Bonnie laughs and takes the slip of paper Caroline produces. "What's so bad about being a Super Senior?"

"Besides the extra loans you need for the additional year in college? Do you really want to sign up for more debt?"

Bonnie glances at her schedule. " _Twenty-two credits?_ I can't do this."

"It's the only way. Unless you want to do summer courses too in addition to the fall classes. And before you decide to forsake beach trips with me, let me point out that summer classes are an out-of-pocket cost that you cannot afford."

"Thank you for the constant reminder of how much money I don't have."

"Hey, I don't have much either. Which is why you should listen to me. I am trying to help you be as debt-free as possible."

Bonnie sighs. "I don't know about this, Care. College is the last thing on my mind right now."

"If we got through all of that crap in high school and still managed to graduate, we can do it again for college. Besides, do you know how hard it will be for us to land decent paying jobs without a bachelor's degree? Those numbers are scarier than Lily Salvatore's band of magical vampires any day of the week."

Bonnie freezes. The air rushes out of her lungs as though Caroline had punched her in the gut with her vampire strength. She blinks, shaking her head. "You're right. We can do this. I can do this," she replies with determination.

Caroline isn't fooled. "Hey, talk to me, Bonnie."

"About what?"

"What happened between you and Kai that night in the woods?"

"I told you. He talked a lot, and almost killed me when he fed on me."

"Why did he bring you back to the dorms?"

Bonnie laughs. "Are you asking me to explain the inner-workings of a sociopath?"

"Well, did he say anything else to you?"

 _There's still so much fun to be had together._

"Nothing I can recall."

"I can hear your heartbeat, Bonnie. I know you're lying."

Bonnie bends down and rummages around in a box by her bed. "I'm just nervous about five classes this semester, and talking about Kai always makes my blood pressure shoot up." Her numb fingers grip the books by their spines and pull them out, arranging them on the shelf. "Besides, I didn't know we were using our powers on each other now."

"Bonnie—"

"I'm fine, Care. Really, I am," she insists, looking up at her with a tight smile. "Somehow I always am."

 **xxx**

Bonnie isn't fine, but not for a lack of trying.

She dives into the college experience: goes to class, drinks too much coffee, groans over assignments in her study groups, and panics over eleventh hour essays. Normal stuff.

There's even a boy.

"So you and Cullen were looking cozy today," Caroline says casually in between their weekly Netflix marathon. "What did you two talk about after class?"

"Nothing. He said he's on the swim team and I told him I was a lifeguard in high school."

"Did he ask you to be on call in case he needed any mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?"

"Are you really making pickup lines for him?"

"I don't know. Is he the kind of guy that uses them?"

"No. He invited me to one of his competitions."

"Good. I wouldn't have allowed you to see someone who stoops so low as to use pickup lines."

" _Allowed me?_ "

"So are you gonna go? You should. It's a good way to check out the goods before you buy."

" _Caroline._ "

"I'm guessing that's a no then," she tsks.

Bonnie bites down on the corner of her bottom lip. "I said yes."

"Seriously? That's great news!" Caroline's smile dims when her friend shrugs. "Isn't it? Do you not like him or something?"

"I don't know how I feel about him," Bonnie confesses. "I thought that if I said yes, I would at least have the chance to figure it out."

"That's a good idea. But remember, hooking up is always an option, especially if he has a great body."

Bonnie groans. "Okay, can we not talk about this anymore? You're distracting me from the world of Litchfield Prison."

"The episode's over anyway. Want to watch one more?"

"Sure."

Caroline settles back into the couch as screen buffers. "Any decision yet on your major?"

Bonnie stuffs a handful of popcorn in her mouth. "Communications, probably."

"Good choice. Versatile. You should apply for an internship next semester with a government official."

"Are you my new guidance counselor?"

"The term is 'life coach,' and _excuse me_ , when have I not been that to you?"

Bonnie laughs. "Give me some down time first. I barely scraped by on the midterms."

"You're the one that added a dance class to your schedule."

"I needed the exercise. Besides, it's more fun than running on a treadmill at the gym."

An hour later, Bonnie crawls into bed and turns off the light. Quietly, she tests the wards around her room to make sure nothing has been breached. Once she is satisfied, she closes her eyes and tells herself not to dream about teeth and knives and blood.

Sometimes it works.

 **xxx**

On a chilly Wednesday, the campus quakes with the news of two student deaths.

"What happened?" someone asks in a low voice.

"Double suicide," another voice replies, equally hushed to avoid the attention of their professor. "They hung themselves from the ceiling fixtures in the stacks library. The article said that they had cut marks on their wrists too."

"Oh my god. That's so gruesome. Do they know what happened?"

"That's the sad thing. It was over nothing. Apparently they both fell behind and couldn't handle the pressure of completing their theses."

" _Are you for real?_ "

"That's what it said."

"God, over a _thesis_ _paper?_ "

Bonnie's phone chimes, breaking her focus on the conversation in front of her. After making sure the professor wasn't looking in her direction, she pulls out her phone.

Damon.

 _We found the bodies._

 **xxx**

Caroline calls Damon and puts him on speaker the minute they return to the apartment.

"Sixty-one bodies all accounted for, except the one who buried them in the woods," he announces, his voice slightly altered by static.

Caroline sighs, disappointed. "Do you have any idea where he could be?"

"We're working on it. There's a trail leading up to Seattle. Stefan and I are heading out tomorrow."

"What about Alaric?" Bonnie asks.

"Alaric is on his way back to Whitmore to reclaim his title as the Occults Studies professor with the most hands-on experience."

"What? Why?" Caroline demands, placing her hand on the table in front of her phone. "He has every right to be there with you two."

"Ric kind of hit a... _mental snag_." His delicate tone sets them on edge.

"Tell us, Damon."

He heaves a sigh. "When we found the bodies, we also found Jo's, and all of them were drained bone dry." Bonnie grips the edge of the chair, refusing to meet Caroline's gaze. "He just snapped. Couldn't stop screaming her name. I had to fix him."

"Tell me you didn't," Caroline warns.

"What choice did I have? It was either compel away his memories of her, or rip his heart out and put him out of his misery."

Caroline runs her hands through her hair. "God, what are we supposed to say to him?"

"I put up the framework, ok? He knows they dated, but it was nothing serious and they broke up when she took a job overseas. Feel free to embellish wherever you see fit."

Bonnie can't listen the rest of the conversation. It gets muffled and warped, until the only thing she can hear is _his_ voice taunting her.

 _So this is kind of all your fault_.

"Bonnie!" Caroline's voice snaps her out of her thoughts. Bonnie looks up and sees the worry in her blue eyes.

She swallows once before attempting a reassuring grin. "Sorry, I got lost in my head there."

Caroline isn't fooled. "Keep us updated, Damon," she orders, and hangs up before he can reply. She crosses her arms and juts out her hip. "Spill. _Now_."

"It's nothing."

"It sure didn't look like nothing. In fact, it looked like you were on the verge of having a panic attack."

"It's been a long day. I'm going to turn in." Bonnie rushes out, ignoring Caroline's protests and locks herself in her room. She crawls under the covers, and checks her wards from the safety of her bed.

 **xxx**

She shifts in her sleep. Morning light spills through the window onto her face. Groaning, she turns on her side and burrows her face into the warm body next to her.

The arm around her waist tightens, drawing her closer. "Shh, go back to sleep," he whispers, his warm breath puffing across her cheekbone.

She sinks deeper into his embrace. His hand trails down her body, stopping on her waist, and he gives it a light squeeze. "That's not sleep," she grumbles. He laughs with his lips pressed against her forehead. His hand slides lower to grab the back of her thigh and hitch it over his hip, aligning their lower bodies.

"Mm, I just can't help myself when I'm around you, Bon." He slants his mouth over hers, soft and wet. It's strange. She can feel him, but she can't quite taste him, no matter how hard she kisses him back. She gives up and pulls away. He pouts and she gently scratches the scruffy beard he refuses to shave, laughing when he hums and leans into her touch.

"What would you do without me?"

"Destroy whoever or whatever it was that took you from me," he replies yawning.

"Oh _please_. You and your grandiose ideas. How did you ever manage to get in my bed?" she teases softly.

He presses a kiss to her palm, gray eyes peeking at her through his lashes. "Did you really think your little wards would be enough to keep me out?"

Bonnie shoots up in bed alone with her heart in her throat. It's three in the morning, and she's too scared to go back to sleep.

 **xxx**

"Miss!" Bonnie jerks her head up. The girl behind the counter glares at her. Jen, according to the name tag. "You need to pay if you want your coffee."

"Yes, of course. Sorry." She digs into her bag for her wallet. "Um, how much is it again?"

"Three fifty," Jen repeats slowly. She pulls out her credit card, and Jen rolls her eyes. "It's cash only."

Bonnie peeks into her wallet. Two dollars. No coins.

The line behind her shuffles, all loud sighs and tapping feet. Embarrassed, Bonnie stumbles over an apology, ready to leave and never return, when a five dollar bill appears on the countertop.

"I've got it, Jen."

Cullen appears beside her with an easy smile. Jen levels an unimpressed stare at him before tossing his change on the table and calling for the next customer.

They move to the couches near the window overlooking the campus. "Thanks for that."

He waves it off. "It's not everyday I can say I saved the girl from an angry, decaffeinated mob."

She takes a sip of her drink, feeling the warmth settle into her body.

"Ouch."

She looks up, startled.

"Too much?" He says with a wince. "Yeah, it was a bad line. I'm a little embarrassed I said it too."

"My friend would be disappointed in you. She's not a fan of pick-up lines."

"Let's just pretend I didn't say that." He leans forward, elbows on his knees. "Instead I said, 'No problem.' That's a neutral response, right?"

She huffs out a laugh. "Deal. Are you excited for your swim meet?"

"Honestly? I'm more excited about you being there. And I know it sounds like another line, but it's not."

Something tightens inside her chest, nervous and unsure. "I didn't take it that way."

The corners of his eyes crinkle when he grins. "Good."

 **xxx**

Alaric returns to campus. After Caroline helps him with the board regarding his absence this semester, he starts planning out the syllabus for his classes in the spring.

"How are you doing?" Bonnie asks.

"A little annoyed to be left out of the action," he admits with a shrug, "but hey. I get it. I'm not an Original anymore, so I shouldn't go looking for trouble if it's not looking for me. Besides, someone's got to hold the fort."

"Well, we're glad you're back," Caroline says with a blinding smile.

"Thanks." He looks between them, mildly suspicious, but says nothing else.

Bonnie doesn't meet his gaze.

 **xxx**

Cullen wins the competition.

Caroline cheers enthusiastically when the timer in his lane stops first, making Bonnie laugh.

"Are you sure _you_ don't want him?" she teases.

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm living the single life." Caroline pulls her up and starts moving towards the bench where he sat. " _You_ , on the other hand, have _got_ to touch those abs and report back to me ASAP."

"Caroline!" Bonnie tries to dig her heels into the ground, but to no avail. Cullen sees them approaching and meets them halfway.

"Bonnie, You made it!" he exclaims, still in the midst of a winner's high.

"I said I would." She tugs her hand out of Caroline's grip. "This is my friend, Caroline."

"Nice to meet you." He holds his hand out for her to shake.

"Congratulations on your win!" Caroline beams. "It was really something, watching you move so fast." He smiles at her briefly before his eyes flicker back to Bonnie.

"You were really great," Bonnie agrees.

He lights up. "Thank you. It really means a lot coming from a lifeguard."

"Former," Bonnie laughs, "and I doubt I was ever as impressive as you are in the water."

"You're selling yourself short. Saving lives is definitely more amazing than swimming a lap."

Bonnie feels her face heat up under his appreciative gaze. Caroline makes an excuse to leave, giving her a quick pinch on her side with a wink, before melting into the crowd.

"Hey, if you don't have any plans, do you want to grab something to eat?"

Cullen is dripping wet in his skin tight swim trunks and nothing else, his perfect body on display.

Bonnie says yes.

 **xxx**

They're not dating, but as Caroline points out, they're not _not_ dating either.

They've hung out several times after the competition, but nothing else. He kissed her once and she kissed him back before pulling away with the taste of his peppermint gum in her mouth. She's grateful that he's not pushing for more, even though he clearly wants it. Instead, he accepts it when she cancels plans, stopping her list of excuses and apologies by saying, "No pressure. Just let me know when you want to meet up and I'll be there."

He texts her sometimes, mostly about their assignments for class and moaning about swim practice.

Caroline doesn't understand. "He's cute, charming, eager to please, and super into you. Why not just make things official?"

Cullen is more than cute. He's handsome. Tall with dark eyes and tanned skin, he has plenty of admirers and Bonnie does feel special that he's so sweet on her. But she knows she can't be with him.

Not when the dreams keep coming.

 **xxx**

Bonnie wakes up slowly, pleasure budding in her body. Sunlight streams through her white curtains, illuminating her bedroom. She shivers from the crisp morning air touching her bare, heated skin. Squinting, she looks down, realizing she's naked, and sees his head resting on her hipbone with his large body settled between her legs. Her thighs are cradled in the crook of his elbows, his fingers dimpling the sensitive skin on her inner thighs. The tip of his nose brushes over her. It's the faintest touch, but she aches terribly from it nonetheless.

"Kai," she rasps, voice still heavy with sleep. He smiles against her when she sinks her fingers into his thick dark hair. She runs her nails gently across his scalp, making him let out a low rumble of appreciation. The vibration sizzles in her blood and she rolls her hips towards him, seeking more of his touch.

He doesn't say anything, doesn't look at her with his smoky gray eyes. Instead, he presses hot, open-mouth kisses to her core, tongue alternating between swirling over her clit and stroking deep inside her. A hazy euphoria unfurls, warming her against the morning chill. He feels so good and she's so sensitive. Every shift in his attention, every sharp inhale that ghosts cold air over her heat makes her burn hotter for him, makes her need so much worse. She bites down hard on her bottom lip to keep quiet, not wanting to wake Caroline.

Kai runs a hand up along her body, caressing her breasts before prying her lip out from under her teeth. "I want to hear you," he murmurs against her, and she cries out at the way his low voice shoots through her body like a current. His stubble scrapes against her, lighting up every nerve. The sweet, gentle pleasure suddenly transforms into a ravenous hunger that only he can satisfy, and she lets him know it with every needy whimper that passes her lips. She'd wake the whole campus if it meant he would keep his mouth on her.

And while her gasps seem to fill her quiet morning bedroom, louder still are his gratified moans and the sticky wet sucking sounds of his lips, teeth and tongue rubbing against her. It's intoxicating how much he's enjoying this, enjoying her pleasure.

He turns his head and places a sloppy kiss on her quivering inner thigh. "You taste like heaven, Bonnie. I can't get enough of you."

"Please don't stop," she whines, legs shifting restless in his hold. "I need more."

She keens as he grows more fervent, pressing closer and firmer against her until there's no distance between them at all. His biceps flex beneath her thighs as he drags her against his face, and she grinds down on him. Her fingers tighten in his hair when his nose presses against her clit and rubs it as his tongue curls inside her, making her eyes close with a slacked-jaw pleasure she's never fathomed.

"Kai, _please_ ," she begs. Sweat beads across her body. Her skin is textured with goosebumps. The pressure is too much to bear and still, she needs more.

He growls before covering her clit with his lips, suckling it in short, rapid tugs. The tension in her body breaks like a snapped neck. She throws her head back, sobbing with gratification. The force of her release renders her senseless and vulnerable. He groans, shoving his shoulders between her thighs to keep her open to him, and laps up her release, prolonging the aftershocks wreaking havoc on her senses. Color streaks across her vision and sound warps in her ears as she breathlessly chants his name like an incantation.

Chuckling, he pulls away at last, looking obscene with his messy hair and swollen, wet smirk. "Good morning."

She manages a gasping noise, making them both laugh. Good morning indeed.

He wipes his lips on her hipbone, the scrape of his beard tingling across her skin, and gives it a sharp nip before soothing the sting with his tongue. "You're delicious, Bon," he murmurs, propping his chin on her upper thigh. "I've gotta have more."

She can barely stop her body from trembling in anticipation. "You're insatiable," she accuses, finally dropping her head down to look at him. Her breath catches in her throat. In the bright morning glow, his eyes bleed black and veins writhe like snakes underneath them. A drop of blood rolls down her hipbone before he lazily laps it up.

"Only when it comes to you," he smiles, revealing sharp fangs. "Don't worry." Her heart thunders at the press of his teeth on her skin. "I'll be gentle."

Bonnie wakes up, cold and humiliated. She draws her knees up and sobs, hating him for getting inside her head and hating herself for the dampness between her legs.

 **xxx**

She avoids sleep as much as she can. Finals week gives her the perfect excuse. She frets over papers, complains to Caroline about the one guy that contributes _nothing_ to the study group, and goes over every chemical equation in the textbook with Cullen.

She also drinks a lot of coffee. So much so that Caroline jokes that the Bennett bloodline is now a java-line.

Unfortunately, the only place on campus that makes the good stuff is the same place where Jen works. Bonnie makes an effort to be nice to her, but Jen just purses her lips and rolls her eyes whenever she walks in.

"She's just bitter that she's working a dead-end job," Caroline explains. "Want me to handle her for you?"

Bonnie shoots her a forbidding look. "No."

Caroline smiles back sweetly. "Let me know if you change your mind."

It's a slow day for the shop. It's practically empty when she enters. Jen's there again, wearing a black top with trendy white letters that read, _Steal My Heart_. Bonnie can only imagine she's wearing it ironically.

"We're out of caramel syrup," Jen says flatly.

"What?"

"We are out of caramel syrup," she repeats in a sing-song tune. "So unless you're going to order a different drink, there's nothing for you here."

Bonnie's nerves are frayed from too little sleep and her upcoming chemistry final in an hour. She can't deal with the attitude today.

"How can you be out of it?"

"Delivery got messed up." She shrugs. "What can you do?"

Bonnie snaps. "What is your problem? I come here every day trying to be nice to you and you're always so nasty."

Jen smiles pleasantly. "I don't like fake people."

Magic sparks from her fingertips. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. What exactly do you think you're doing with Cullen?"

Bonnie rears back, surprised. "What does this have to do with him?"

"He's my best friend, and I'm sick of seeing you lead him on all over campus." Jen leans over the counter, scowling. "He's into you, you know that. And from the way you cancel on him all the time, we both know you don't feel the same way. So why don't you just stop with the mind games already?"

"Are you jealous?" Bonnie blurts out.

"You are _so_ self-absorbed. Not everything is about _you_." Jen shakes her head, crossing her arms. "Listen. You don't want any attitude from me? Just be honest with people. You don't like him? That's fine. I get it! He's the biggest dork in the world. But he doesn't deserve this."

Bonnie averts her gaze, flushing. She'd been so sure she was right and Jen was wrong, that she was just a bitter, heartless girl. "I-I can't do this. I...I have a final."

"I know. Cullen does too." Jen pierces her with her brown eyes, and for the first time, Bonnie sees something resembling sympathy. "Good luck on your exam. I'm sorry we don't have the caramel syrup."

 **xxx**

"You'd think they'd keep us in the loop." Caroline bangs the salad bowl on the table. "How hard is it for Damon to call or send a text every two days?"

"Have you tried Stefan?" Alaric asks over a plate of pasta, before shriveling under her glare. "Um...so! How did your finals go?"

"Ugh," Caroline slumps into her chair. "I'm just glad to be done with that Chaucer paper."

"I don't envy you. Was that your last one?"

"I've got one more next week."

He turns to Bonnie. "What about you? How did Chem go?"

"I broke up with Cullen."

"Er, what?"

" _What?_ " Caroline looks at her incredulously, knife screeching against her plate. " _Why?_ "

Bonnie drops her fork, shielding her face with her hands. "I mean, we weren't even together really. I...I just..."

Caroline flashes to her side. "Hey, it's totally fine. It's not your fault."

"It's just stress," Bonnie confesses, tears rolling down her face. "I'm being so silly."

"Shh." Caroline strokes Bonnie's hair. "It was too much. I get it. I'm sorry I pushed you to him."

A chair scrapes the floor. "I'm going to go eat in the kitchen," Alaric announces awkwardly.

"Are you hungry? No? Ok, why don't we get you to bed then?" Caroline leads her to her room, but stops at the entrance while Bonnie stumbles toward the bed. "Hey, what's going on?" Her hands come up against an invisible barrier. "Bonnie? Why can't I come in?"

Bonnie curls up under her covers, her body heavy with exhaustion. "I don't feel safe."

"Because of _me?_ "

"No. Him."

"I don't understand. Who are you afraid of? Cullen?" Caroline slams her hands against the wards. "Bonnie, let me in." Something crosses over her face. "This is about Kai, isn't it?"

Her eyes droop. "I keep having these dreams," she confesses wearily. "He's haunting me."

She doesn't hear Caroline's response, finally succumbing to sleep.

And he's there, waiting for her with open arms and a bloodstained smile.

 **xxx**

"...and is that even possible? That he can do something to her from halfway across the country?" Caroline pauses. "Where are you guys? The reception is awful. _Alaska_? Why the hell would he be there?"

Bonnie hears the sound of the refrigerator door opening and closing, followed by a sliding drawer and jangling utensils.

"Just please stay within range of a cell tower, okay?" The phone clatters on the table. "Don't just stand there, Bonnie. Come in."

Wincing, she steps away from the wall and walks into the kitchen. Caroline is sitting at the table, elbows on the surface with her chin resting on her interlaced fingers. She raises her eyebrows at her, before tilting her head to the empty seat across from her.

There's a pint of ice cream in the middle of the table with two spoons on the side.

Bonnie slides into the offered seat. "When was the last time we did this?"

"When Elena's parents died, after the funeral. Couldn't pry anything out of her though. Then Stefan and Damon came to town, and here we are now." Caroline hands her a spoon and opens the lid. "I'd say this is _long_ overdue."

"Agreed." Bonnie takes the first bite. "Who were you talking to?"

"Damon. They're in Alaska. Apparently all leads point to Kai being somewhere in that frozen tundra."

"Why?"

"The nights are longer there during the winter. It only gets five hours of daylight now. They think he wants more freedom to hunt. Easier to blame on wild animals." Caroline licks the ice cream off the spoon. "Speaking of Kai, want to fill me in on what's going on with you?"

Bonnie takes a deep breath, spearing her spoon in the pint. "Lately he's been appearing in my dreams pretty regularly. He's...different."

"Different how?"

"He's still a heretic, but he's kinder and—" she flushes, looking down at her hands on the table, "he touches me."

"...How do you react in your dreams?" Caroline asks delicately.

"I like it." Bonnie's voice is small and tight with shame. "It reminds me of how I was with Jeremy, or how I wanted it to be. I don't know what this means. If he's doing something to me, or if these are visions and I just can't understand them, or if it's _me_ _,_ if _I'm_ the reason—"

Caroline covers Bonnie's hands with her own cool ones. "Breathe," she instructs. "Look, we have no idea what he's capable of. There's nothing anywhere on heretics and their abilities. It could very well not be you. But even if it is you, and your subconscious is making you have these dreams, that's okay too."

Bonnie forces herself to look up. "How can you say that? You know what he's capable of."

"We want what we want, even if it's the worst thing ever. Trust me, I know." Caroline shifts her eyes away, lips sucked in briefly, before sticking her spoon into the ice cream. "I had sex with Klaus."

Bonnie's jaw drops. She tries to speak, but nothing comes out. Finally, after a long, awkward moment of silence, she slumps back in her chair. "Was it good?"

Caroline lets out a relieved breath, smiling, before covering her face with her hands. "It was really good," she admits, peeking through her fingers. "Better than chocolate fudge ice cream."

"Liar. Nothing is better than that," Bonnie teases.

"Yeah, you're right. But he was pretty close though." Caroline winks and shoves a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. They burst out laughing hysterically, tears leaking from the corners of their eyes. When they calm down, Caroline pins her with her blue, blue eyes. "I'm just saying that I'm in no position to judge you. My concern is that the real Kai is nothing like your dreams. He is out to hurt you."

The frost on the pint thaws. "I know."

 **xxx**

Bonnie stops by the cafe to pick up a drink before her last dance class.

Jen isn't there, but Cullen is.

Her face tenses with a wide grin. "Hi."

He's surprised, as if he didn't see her. "Oh. Hey Bonnie."

"Are you okay? You look a little distracted."

"Have you seen Jen around lately? The girl that usually works the cash register here?" he asks urgently. "I've been trying to reach her for days now."

She blinks. "Um, no actually. I haven't seen her since our Chem final. I thought she'd quit."

He shakes his head. "She wouldn't do that. She needed the money." He runs his hands roughly through his hair. "Thanks anyway. I'll see you around."

He brushes by her without a backwards glance, and Bonnie remembers that Jen is his best friend.

 **xxx**

"Is it weird that I'm a little annoyed at him?"

"Yes." Caroline props a pillow against the headboard. "But that's because it's petty and you're never petty. You must really be exhausted."

"I'm being serious."

"It's perfectly normal to be annoyed that a guy is not being mopey enough around you after you've rejected him. Now lay down and get comfy."

"How good are you at this exactly?"

"Dreamwalking?" Caroline grimaces, teetering her hand from side to side. "I don't do it much, and when I do it's on humans."

Bonnie finishes putting up her wards again and pulls the covers under her chin. "Not really inspiring confidence here, Care."

"Well you shouldn't be worried. When have I ever failed at anything?" Caroline gently brushes Bonnie's hair away from her face. "Just relax and let sleep come. I'll be here. No judgments, remember?"

Bonnie closes her eyes, reflexively gripping the blanket. "Okay."

xxx

They talk about it during breakfast.

"Did you sense that I was there?" Caroline asks.

"No, not really."

"It was hard for me to stay. I kept getting pushed out. I thought you were subconsciously trying to keep me away."

"Maybe. I don't know." Bonnie swirls her spoon in her soggy cereal. "Did you see anything?"

Caroline presses her lips together. "The first time? You two were talking at the Grill. He was eating french fries. You looked angry, and he, um..." She trails off, looking up as if she could find the words written on the ceiling. "And, uh, the second time you guys were in a forest casting a spell. It was snowing, and he was talking but you ignored him."

"What were you going to say about him? Tell me."

"You don't remember what happened?"

Bonnie purses her lips. "I want to know what you saw. What you thought."

Caroline places her fork down, clinking it against the plate. Her blue eyes are round with concern, and Bonnie braces herself. "He looked at you the way Cullen does, only just...more."

"More?"

"More earnest at the Grill. More desperate in the forest. And both times when you shoot him down, he's clearly hurt." Caroline bites her lower lip for a moment, before continuing, "This wasn't a dream, was it?"

"A memory," Bonnie manages to say, despite the tightness in her throat. "I get them sometimes, instead of the dreams. That was the day we trapped him in 1903."

Silence hangs between them. Caroline picks up her fork and shovels eggs into her mouth. "God, I'm so hungry. I don't know what's wrong with me," Caroline jokes between too-large bites of toast. "So, anyway! I've been thinking that we should do a little investigating of our own while the others are making friends with bears and moose. After finals, of course."

"What do you have in mind?"

"We find Kai's place and do some digging there. He had to have stayed somewhere in Mystic Falls. Maybe we can find some clues on what his next move is."

Bonnie stares into her coffee cup, numb fingers pressing against the heated porcelain. Despite eating next to nothing last night for dinner and the savory smell of bacon and scrambled eggs wafting from her plate, she can't bring herself to eat more than a few nibbling bites.

"Bonnie?"

She looks up with a smile she hopes is less strained than it feels. "Good idea. Let's get through the next week and then head home."

 **xxx**

"I'll be gentle."

And he is. Kai sinks his teeth into her inner thigh, before retracting them quickly. He latches down on the wound and sucks, moaning with satisfaction. She screams, but the sharp pain quickly dulls into a mild ache under the touch of his lips and his tongue.

"Kai," she cries out when his fingers leisurely stroke her overstimulated core.

Giving her one last lick, he lifts his head and runs his hands up her body to cradle her head.

"Did I take too much?" he asks, rising over her, eyes slowly fading back to white.

Bonnie doesn't reply. She lifts her hands to his face, mirroring his touch. Her fingers dance on the edge of his brow bone, tracing the faint, pulsing veins under his eyes, before skating over the curve of his cheekbones to cup his jaw. He leans down, gaze transfixed on her lips, but she stops him with a slight push.

She wrinkles her nose at him. "What makes you think I'll kiss you when you have my blood in your mouth?"

"This?" he asks, tongue swiping across his bottom lip to catch the last traces. "I'm just a lowly immortal seeking holy communion." She laughs, half-heartedly pushing him away. He ducks his head toward her. "I drank the wine. All that's left is the bread." He takes a breast into the wet heat of his mouth, teeth grazing the tip with enough pressure to make her hiss. New desire stirs inside her as he repeats it with the other.

"I've never pegged you as a religious man."

A slow, mischievous grin spreads across his face. "Well, I'm definitely a sinner. But I also know a blessing when I see one." His hands caress her body and she hums in appreciation at the contrast of his warm palms and cool rings against her skin. "I know a miracle when I touch it, Bon, and you're the only heaven I'll ever know."

"These biblical references doesn't bode well for me," she says lightly. "It sounds like I might have to die to save you."

"Lucky for you, I don't need saving." He kisses her neck.

"Everyone needs saving." She gently runs her nails up and down his arms soothingly. "Even me."

"Okay. We'll save each other then." He pulls away to look into her eyes, raising a hand to gently stroke her cheekbone. "You do that by staying with me."

She turns her head to nuzzle his palm, half-wanting to hide from his stare. "For how long?" she asks, peering up at him from beneath her lashes.

"Forever should do it."

She laughs. "You're asking the impossible. I won't live that long. Not like you will."

His eyes dim, the playful air around him vanishing like smoke. She wants to take it back, this reminder of her mortality, hating how sad he looks.

"We'll see about that," he murmurs.

Bonnie opens her eyes. It's a bright gray morning, and she takes deep, slow breaths to settle the tension strumming through her muscles as the dream fades away.

 **xxx**

Jen's face stares at her from every bulletin board on campus.

Bonnie had only known two things about her: she worked at a coffee shop, and she was best friends with Cullen. Now Bonnie also knows Jen's height, weight, age, major, where she was last seen, and what she was wearing at the time. All of these new facts are listed neatly next to a cropped photo of her, beneath a large MISSING headline.

She's walking out of the arts building, shivering from the biting winds, when she sees Cullen, holding a roll of scotch tape in his gloved hand with a stack of paper in the other, arguing with a security guard.

"You can't put them up on these buildings," the guard says sternly. "We're going to take them down."

"I've seen flyers advertising clubs and fundraisers here for the past three years. What's the problem with me putting these up now? Is it not pro-Whitmore enough?" Cullen angrily waves the papers. "There's no school spirit with a missing person's case, right? So we can't have that drive away prospective students."

The guard sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. "Listen, kid. I've seen how this scenario plays out a thousand times on the news throughout the country. The chances that she's still alive are slim to none."

Bonnie grabs Cullen by his hoodie just as he's about to throw a punch. The papers scatter to the ground, copies of Jen's smiling face stare up at his breakdown. "Hey! Can I talk to you for a second? Let's go."

She pulls him away, even as he shouts, "You look at her and do your damn job! You're supposed to be protecting us, and you let some psycho walk around campus and kidnap her!"

Bonnie drags him away as fast as she can. "Don't do this. It's not worth suspension."

"Yes it is. I'll take it any day if I get to punch him in the mouth for talking about Jen like that." He twists out of her hands and takes two steps back toward the guard, breath puffing out of his mouth like smoke, before Bonnie gets in front of him. It takes time, but she manages to calm him down and push him to a secluded stone bench.

Her car is parked nearby, but she doesn't want to drag out this encounter. Going inside one of the buildings is out of the question. Cullen doesn't need to have Jen staring at them from every board in the halls. Shoving her hands in her coat pockets, Bonnie wishes she had changed clothes back in the studio.

"Sorry. I didn't want you to see me like that." He's hunched over, elbows on his knees staring at the ground.

His deep voice seems louder, disrupting the quiet cold.

Bonnie stares out at out at the empty campus. The winter chill had driven everyone else inside. "It's okay. I know it's hard. I lost one of my best friends recently."

"She's not dead," he snaps, temper flaring before just as quickly dying out. "I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I don't know how I would even handle that. If Jen doesn't show up soon..." He shakes his head, leaving the sentence unfinished.

"She told me you two were close."

"We are. We go back five years."

"Were you two ever more than friends?"

He snorts, smiling finally. "No. We get that a lot. I know how we look to other people, but it's never been that way."

"Did you ever want it to be that way?"

"No. She felt the same." He glances at her. "Are you jealous or something?"

"What? No."

"You sound jealous. Which is crazy because you're the one that ended things."

Bonnie flushes. "I'm not jealous. Jen didn't like me very much and I wondered if she liked you."

He scoffs, shaking his head, before quietly saying, "She didn't. Even if she did, she knew I only wanted you."

Her shoulders hunch up as though he was shouting at her. "I'm sorry." She looks at him, trying to find the words to make him hurt less. "If I've ever led you on, or—"

"Just stop. Please." He meets her gaze and her mouth clicks shut. The loneliness in his eyes freezes her in place. "I don't want to hear it again. Can you just..." His gloved hands come up to cradle her face and he leans in, eyes still on hers. The touch of his lips jolts her out of her panic and she pulls away.

" _Cullen_." She starts to stand, wanting more space between them.

"I'm sorry. That was stupid. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just wanted..." His voice cracks. She watches his adam's apple bob as he swallows tightly. "Everything was fine a month ago, with you and with Jen. Now you're both gone. _Jen's_ gone, and...I don't understand where it all went wrong."

She pauses, his words striking a chord inside of her. "Listen," she says thickly, sitting back down on the cold bench. "I know how you're feeling. A lot of my life took a bad turn in high school, and I've wondered how things got so messed up. And this isn't going to make you feel better, but you need to hear it. Sometimes...sometimes bad things happen to people who don't deserve it, and it's not because you did or didn't do something. Someone took Jen, and I—" she swallows, but pushes on, "I didn't return your feelings. None of these things are your fault. It's out of your control."

The quiet campus feels deafening. Cullen clenches his hands together, the muscle in his jaw ticking. "Thank you for saying that."

Bonnie presses her lips together. "I want you to know that no matter what happens, you're going to be okay. You're going to survive the outcome."

He doesn't respond.

 **xxx**

"Statistically speaking, Jen's probably dead."

" _Caroline_."

She pours the concoction into Bonnie's mug and slides it to her. "But look on the bright side. This is the first non-supernatural death that's happened around us."

"Third. Remember those suicides on campus?"

"Even better! It's got to be a sign, right?"

Bonnie raises an eyebrow at her, before gulping down the bitter brew. "How was your day?"

"Busy. I stopped by Alaric's office to see how he's doing. He doesn't know why three people stopped by to offer their condolences about Jo. Had to run damage control after that and spent all afternoon tying up loose ends. I'm so glad we're done with this semester."

Bonnie stands up, feeling sleepy. "That was fast."

"Good. Your magic?"

"Tucked away for the night in the book you lent me."

"Oh, did you finish it? Isn't it amazing? That first chapter had me hooked instantly. 'What would you do if you weren't afraid?' That's something we need to be "

Bonnie can't remember the last time she wasn't afraid. It's practically her natural state of being now. "Can we talk about it later?" she asks, yawning.

"Of course. Let's get you to bed." Seconds later, Bonnie finds herself underneath the covers in her bed. "I shouldn't have a problem staying in there longer this time," Caroline says, settling next to her on top of the covers. "Rest."

 **xxx**

Bonnie wakes up to the fragrant smell of eggs and bacon. Groggily, she pushes the covers down and sits up. Caroline brought up two trays loaded with food and orange juice.

"You're amazing," she croaks, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Instinctively, she grabs the book from the night stand and draws her magic back, relieved to feel it sinking back inside her body.

"I know." Caroline carefully cuts up her food into small pieces. It's unsettling to see her so quiet. Subdued.

Bonnie tucks into her food, glancing at her friend from the corner of her eyes. "Judging from the look on your face, I guess it didn't work. I don't remember anything."

She puts the knife down. "It did."

 **xxx**

Music slowly fills the silent studio as Bonnie stands before the mirrored wall in tight clothes and pointe shoes. Caroline watches her friend inhale deeply before executing a slow pirouette en pointe as a singer's voice floats through the air, crooning a ballad of a love affair between ill-matched people. Her limbs flow through the routine, where light, pretty spins and structure give way to quick, loose steps and floorwork.

As the story unfolds, the controlled ballet moves fracture, allowing the misery from the song guide her body into modern dance. Near the end, Bonnie constantly reaches out for someone who isn't there, leaning her weight dangerously off balance as if waiting for that person to catch her. Her eyes track the movements of an absent partner longingly. Caroline suddenly feels like she's not watching a solo performance anymore, but a duet with a ghost.

The song fades out, leaving a question resonating in the air— _Can we pretend that we're in love?_ —and Bonnie falls to her knees, arms crossed against her chest like a shield with her head bowed in defeat.

It's an impressive, mesmerizing performance, and it breaks Caroline's dead heart when it ends.

Bonnie swings her legs in front of her and stands up, breathing heavily. Her eyes connect with the other person in the room and she asks, "So? What do you think?"

Kai lounges underneath the barre with his back against the wall. Sunlight pours in from the large windows behind him, casting a shadow on his features.

"I think you're amazing."

A wide smile breaks out across her face. "C'mon. Give me something useful."

"You're going to nail the senior showcase."

" _Kai._ "

"Fine. Those shoes looked stupid in the second half."

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. It feels weird, too." Bonnie looks at her reflection, lips pursed to the side, and bounces up onto the toe box. "I really like the way the first half looks with them though."

Kai tilts his head to the side as he watches Bonnie gracefully complete a double pirouette. It's a critical gaze, but one full of affection and warmth. "Why don't you take off your shoes and throw them to the side during the crescendo break? Give it a little more drama."

"It's worth a try. Can you start the music again?"

Kai taps her phone and the song restarts. Bonnie runs through it again, taking off the pointe shoes in the middle of the song and tossing them aside. It serves as the perfect climax in the piece, the dividing line between tranquility and turmoil, control and freedom.

Caroline focuses on the fabric of the dream. There's nothing overt that draws her notice, but there does seem to be the slightest imbalance somewhere. She walks closer to Kai, taking in the way his eyes trace the lines Bonnie makes with body, pupils blown wide. Caroline knows that look, has cultivated it all her life from cute boys, and she doesn't trust her eyes. It's impossible. Monsters like Kai don't have feelings, much less ones with the humanity switch turned off.

But then a name rings through her head: _Klaus_.

The music dies, and Bonnie stands up, beaming at him. "I think it's much better!"

"I like that spin you added at the end, breaking that ballet turn out of its form." He gives her a thumbs up. "Good thematic tie in."

"Okay, let's run through it one more time."

Kai swipes across the phone screen twice before tapping it. A different song starts with an upbeat pop tune Caroline remembers from the radio.

"What are you doing?" Bonnie asks.

"You've been practicing for hours. Why not take a break?" He shimmies his shoulders to the beat, making Bonnie roll her eyes. She gives in though, and dances freely, a stark contrast to the form and grace she exhibited before.

At one point, Bonnie locks eyes with him playfully, reaching out a hand to him and sing-shouts, "Shut up and dance with me!"

Kai shifts forward, an anticipatory grin on his face. In the blink of an eye, he's across the room, one hand wrapped around her waist while the other is clasped with hers. She squeals in surprise, but brings her free hand up to his shoulders and follows his lead, laughing as he effortlessly moves them around the studio.

"Where did you learn to foxtrot?"

"Impressed?" Kai raises his eyebrows at her.

Bonnie scoffs. She takes a step back and twirls, hand still in his. His face lights up as he watches her spin, before sweeping her up in a hug, lifting her off her feet. They laugh loudly, breathlessly in each other's arms.

Caroline stays just long enough to hear Kai whisper something to Bonnie, before she breaks the connection, and wakes up.

 **xxx**

"I don't remember any of that."

"Is that what you want?"

Bonnie doesn't answer. How could she know when all her thoughts and feelings are tangled in these dreams of him? Dreams that feel so sweet and bright in the dark, but are so ugly and terrifying during the day. Did she want Kai? She used to be certain the answer was no, but now? Her heart thunders against her ribs. Wanting him would be the cruellest punishment, and hasn't she suffered enough?

Caroline's face scrunches up, looking incredulous and disappointed at the same time. It feels awful. "You said you wouldn't judge me," she accuses, gripping her fork tightly. "I don't know if I want him—"

"I'm not talking about Kai. You were a Dance Major in your dream. Is that what you want to be? A dancer?"

Bonnie blinks. _Oh._ "Well, no. Obviously it's not something I can make a living off of—"

"But you want to major in it, right?" Caroline narrows her eyes. "Why did you tell me you wanted to do Communications then?"

She shrugs helplessly. "I don't know. I thought it was a good option. Lots of job opportunities. And you're always talking about student debt and being practical. Isn't that what you wanted to hear?"

"Obviously Communications is better for the job market," Caroline snaps, "but that doesn't mean you shouldn't study what you want. You can minor in it, or even double major. You didn't have to lie to me."

"You said it was a good choice!"

"I'm a _Drama Major_ , Bonnie. God, what makes you think I wouldn't have understood?"

Bonnie stares at her plate, no longer hungry. "It doesn't matter much for you. You have all the time in the world. More time than me." Caroline inhales sharply. Bonnie glances up, sees the hurt on her friend's face, but continues, "I only have one shot at this. Isn't that why you've been pushing me to make the right decisions about everything?"

Caroline shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath. When she opens them, she reaches over the table to grasp her hands. "You're right. I'm going to outlive you. And then I'm going to outlive Elena when she wakes up."

"Care, I—"

"It's true. We don't talk about it, but you don't have as much time as I do." She leans closer, blue eyes made bluer with tears. "I want you to have the _best_ life possible. The dream job, the dream home, the dream guy. I'll be there for you every step of the way, and I swear to you that when you are gone, I'm going to look after your kids and their kids and their kid's kids."

Bonnie breaths out a laugh, eyes stinging. "I'll hold you to that."

Caroline nods, pulling her hands away. "Well, I've got some good news. I think Kai's the one tampering with your dreams. Before I left, he said that he wished this was real."

It's not her. She's dizzy with relief. "Why is he doing this?"

Caroline presses her lips into a thin line. "He likes you."

Bonnie scoffs. She takes her plate into the kitchen and scrapes the leftovers into the trashcan. "Don't be ridiculous."

"As someone who's had a psychotic admirer, I know the signs."

"Klaus gave you gowns and jewelry. Kai shot me with a crossbow."

"But he helped get you out of the prison world."

"What?"

"You didn't know?"

Bonnie hesitates. "I didn't believe him."

Caroline places her dish into the washer, before leaning her hip against it. "Then pack your bags. We're going home to visit someone you will believe."

 **xxx**

Alaric drops them off at the Salvatore crypt.

"I'm going to catch up with Matt. Make sure the town hasn't gone to hell since we've been away," he says, half-jokingly. "Call me if you need anything."

They wave goodbye, watching him disappear around the corner between the gravestones and trees.

"I called Matt. He knows not to mention anything about Jo."

Bonnie glances at her as they step inside the crypt, sunlight pouring in behind them. "What did he say about that?"

"He wasn't _happy_ , but he understands that Alaric's in a shaky mental state."

Bonnie closes her eyes, chanting a spell. The seal breaks, and the casket lid pops open with a hiss. Caroline lifts it, revealing Elena's slumbering form. She turns, holding a hand out to Bonnie.

"You ready?"

"Yes."

 **xxx**

They find her sitting on the bleachers, watching cheer practice.

"What's wrong?" she asks, brows furrowed in a manner reminiscent of Damon.

"Nothing. We just had some questions and you're the only one with the answers." Caroline takes a seat to Elena's right, while Bonnie settles on her left. They observe their younger selves for a moment, joking around and showing off little tricks. "What year was this?"

"Sophomore year," Elena answers wistfully. "I was feeling nostalgic, and missing you both. Sometimes I like to remember when things were normal, before everything became so complicated. Damon and Stefan weren't here. My mom and dad were still alive. Our biggest problem was whether or not Care would be in one of her moods and threaten to bench us if we didn't breathe the way she wanted during practice."

" _Excuse me_ , but we won the state cheerleading championship under my leadership," Caroline says indignantly, pressing a hand to her chest. "And whatever I said about your form was—"

"—out of love for the team and winning," Elena and Bonnie chime in, rolling their eyes before bursting into laughter.

"You two remember it because it's true." Caroline tilts her chin into the air, a smile curling her lips.

On the field, cheer captain Caroline starts barking out orders, and the other girls scramble to form a pyramid.

"You missed your calling as a drill sergeant," Elena teases.

"Try _dictator_ ," Bonnie corrects.

"Ha, ha," Caroline says deadpan.

"God, look at us. We were so young." Bonnie can't take her eyes off of their projections: all long, bony limbs that, when not careening through the air in a flip or striking sharp poses on the ground, were angled awkwardly in that painfully teenaged way that exposed how insecure they were with their changing bodies. She can't remember that feeling anymore, but watching their projections makes her want to, if only to think about something other than death and magic.

"Yeah, we were." Elena shakes her head. "So what did you want to ask me?"

"How were you and Damon able to send me that message about Nova Scotia?"

"Kai helped."

The green field and and bright sky melted away, dimming into the dark interior of the Salvatore boarding house. Instead of the creaky white bleachers, they're sitting on the wooden table in the kitchen as Elena's memory unfurls before them.

"It's her birthday?" Kai asks, soft and hesitant.

Bonnie can't look away. He provokes Damon, mocks Elena, and talks down to everyone, but he's _helping_. Genuinely helping. Spends an hour bent over the ascendant with a magnifier and tools. Brings them to the prison world to watch her hit rock bottom. Exhausts his magic. Nearly _dies_.

He was telling the truth.

 **xxx**

Bonnie closes the door to her house, leaning against it in the dark with a heavy sigh. She can't remember the last time she stepped foot in here. She flips the light switch, and is mildly surprised when the foyer illuminates. The bills have gone unpaid since her dad passed away. The air didn't smell musty either. Stefan must've kept the place from falling into disarray.

She climbs the stairs to her room, averting her gaze when she passes her dad's study. When she enters her room, she stops.

Crumpled paper balls litter the corners of her room. The bed is rumpled, sheets twisted and pillows indented from a weight of a large slumbering body.

Someone has been squatting in her house, sleeping in her _bed_.

Anger settles into her bones. She picks up one of the crumpled papers and smoothes it out, looking for clues on who the trespasser could be.

 _Dear Bonnie,_

 _I wanted to call you, but realized that I didn't have your number. So I'm writing you this letter instead. I'm sorry for everything I did to you in 1994—_

Her breath stops. _No._

She picks up another one, and another, and another.

 _Bonnie, before you burn this letter, just let me say—_

 _Bonnie! How are you doing at Whitmore—_

 _You were the first person I saw in 18 years—_

 _The Merge side-effects really stinks—_

 _Listen, I'm sorry—_

 _Forgive me—_

 _Please—_

 **xxx**

"Bonnie? I'm here. I'm downstairs. Come downstairs," Caroline's voice blares through the phone.

"I can't move," she says tightly, huddled in the corner near the door. It burns to breathe. The air feels thin and cold in her lungs. "I can't. He was here. He stayed in _my room_ —"

"You have to invite me in, okay? I can't step inside until you do. _Tell me_ I can come in."

"Please come inside," she croaks.

The front door bangs open, making Bonnie jump. She flinches when Caroline appears in the doorway, phone in hand and blue eyes darting over the room.

"Hey, I'm here," Caroline says soothingly, her words echoing out from Bonnie's phone. She ends the call and crouches down, gently drying Bonnie's tearstained face. "Shh, you're okay. It's okay."

"No, it's not. It's not okay. He was here. He was _living_ here. In _my room_."

Caroline picks up the wrinkled stack of papers on the floor, flipping through them. "Kai was writing you an apology letter?"

"Too bad he forgot to apologize about breaking and entering." The balled-up drafts around the room catches fire. Caroline quickly drops the papers when it also starts to burn. The flames don't die out though, spreading to the bed.

"Bonnie, stop. You're going to burn down your house!"

"No," she says quietly. "Just the bed. Just anything he touched."

" _Seriously?_ " Caroline whisks Bonnie downstairs into the living room, breaking her concentration, before rushing back upstairs. Bonnie scrubs her face with her hands, trying to quell the white hot rage flashing beneath her skin. He had been staying in her room. Touching her things. What game was he playing? First he invades her dreams, filling her head with perverse nonsense. And now, knowing that he had lived in her home…

It's a violation she can't articulate.

Caroline appears in front of her, a duffel bag in hand. "So your room is intact, and you're staying with me," she announces, her tone absolute.

The doorbell rings. Both of their heads turn sharply at the noise. Caroline moves first, approaching the front door with a predatory grace. Bonnie is right behind her, a spell on the tip of her tongue.

The door swings open. No one is there.

A red box with a pristine white bow sits innocently on the welcome mat. Warily, Caroline picks it up and brings it inside.

"What is it?"

Caroline looks at her with concern. "Nothing good. I smell blood."

There's a card tucked beneath the ribbon with _Bonnie!_ scrawled on it. Taking in a shaky breath, Bonnie slides the card out and flips it over.

 _She told me to._

Clenching her jaw, she opens the box. The smell of copper overwhelms her. There's something round wrapped in black fabric.

"Is that..." Caroline trails off.

Bonnie picks it up and unwraps it, fingers coming away wet and red.

She's holding a warm, human heart. Underneath it are white letters printed on the fabric. _A shirt,_ she realizes. Most of it is stained a rusty brown, but she can still read it, can still recognize where she last saw that phrase.

 _Steal My Heart_.


	3. Part II

**Part II**

 **xxx**

" _Seriously, Damon?_ I've left you _twenty_ _messages!_ Are you guys hunting polar bears in an ice cave? When you finally return to society and get this, you all need to get on the first flight out of there. I don't care if you have to run to the airport from whatever wasteland you're in. Come home. Kai is _here_." Caroline's boots stomp against the hardwood floor as she returns to the foyer. "I asked them to do _one simple thing_. Stay within range of a cell tower. And they go off the grid."

Bonnie stares at the box, her hands covered in blood.

"Hey, come here. Let's get you cleaned up," Caroline says gently.

"He killed her."

"What?"

"The last time I saw Jen, she was wearing this shirt." Her hands start trembling. Why would he kill her? How did he even _know_ her? Unless… "He's been _watching_ me." Bonnie shakes her head, a crushing pressure settling on her chest. "This is my fault."

"No. _No_. You didn't kill her. Kai did."

"Because of _me_." There's a hitch in her voice that doesn't quite go away, making her words sound choppy and uneven. "He did it because of me. Because he's punishing me."

"Okay, calm down. Breathe."

She tries, but the air suddenly feels bright and sharp in her lungs. The walls seem to narrow. Dizzy, Bonnie lurches toward the door and runs outside to the porch. She hunches over, hands on her knees and closes her eyes. _It's okay,_ she thinks, _you're okay. Get it together_.

There's movement behind her. "Oh, Bonnie."

"I'm fine, Care. I just need a moment," she says tightly.

"Looks like you need more than that," a deep voice drawls in front of her. Bonnie's head snaps up. Kai grins, his eyes glinting with a wild light. Her living nightmare in the flesh, barely a foot away from her, close enough to touch. He holds his arms out. "May I offer you a hug?"

"You!" Caroline snarls.

"Hi there. You must be Caroline," he says pleasantly. "I'm Kai."

"I know who you are. You broke my neck."

He holds up his hands. "I admit I didn't make a good first impression, but I had unfinished coven business to attend to and it was just one of those wrong-place-wrong-time situations. Kinda like right now."

Caroline rushes forward, only to come to an abrupt halt at the doorway, her hands pressing against the space in front of her. _A barrier_ , Bonnie thinks. She watches her friend disappear in a flash, only to return a few seconds later, striking her fists against his spell. "Let me out!"

"I don't think so. Bonnie and I have some catching up to do. One-on-one, if you will."

Bonnie throws a spell at him, bursting the blood vessels in his brain. He winces, but quickly reaches out and grasps her outstretched hand; his fingers fitting into the gaps between hers, palms pressing together. Pain explodes inside her, radiating from his red, glowing touch. It brings her to her knees. "Now Is that how you say 'thank you' to someone who just gave you a present, Bon?"

"Let her go!"

"Don't you worry your pretty little head, Caroline." He twirls Bonnie into his arms, pinning her back against his chest. Bonnie gasps, features scrunched tightly as he rips the magic from her bones. He shushes her, resting his chin on the curve of her shoulder. "I can play nice." She feels his lips stretch into a smile, his fangs pressing gently against her neck. Her back tingles as he speaks. Stupidly, despite the pain, she recalls hearing and feeling that same rough voice in a dream, and the tiniest part of her revels in it.

"Don't touch her!" Caroline shouts, eyes dark and bloody.

He winks. "Come out here and make me."

Caroline cries out as her skin starts sizzling in the afternoon light. She rushes further back inside the house until she's safely out of the sunlight. Bewildered, she looks down at her hands. "Where's my ring?"

"Missing something?" Kai waves her ring in his hands. He tosses it in the air. " _Phasmatos Incendia._ " It bursts into flames, disintegrating before their eyes.

" _No!_ " Caroline steps forward, only to shrink back into the shade when her arm starts to smoke.

He laughs. Bonnie practically tastes the taint in his magic as it surges around them, and tries not to throw up when the world warps and fades to black.

 **xxx**

The first thing Bonnie's aware of is a large hand cradling the side of her face, thumb stroking her cheekbone. She leans into the touch, wincing at the pulsing pressure in her skull.

A deep chuckle. "You're adorable, Bon."

 _Kai_.

She jerks back, head pounding from the sudden movement. She opens her eyes and his face slowly comes into focus.

"There's my girl," he says with a maniacal grin, teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

" _Get away from me!_ " She tries to stand, but her body remains seated in the chair. Her hands grip the arms to push herself up, but her legs don't respond. Her eyes dart around the room, taking in the familiar dark furniture and high ceilings.

He brought her to the Salvatore boarding house.

"Geez, so _touchy_." He walks over to the other side table and sits down, elbows resting on the surface with his hands clasped against his chin. "I made us dinner, just like old times. Grilled halibut marinated in a citrus herb sauce with a side roasted brussel sprouts and whipped potatoes. _Bon appetit!_ "

Her plate is immaculate, like it had been plucked out of a glossy page from Caroline's lifestyle magazines. The aroma makes her mouth water. She remembers how delicious his Thanksgiving meal had been, and what happened afterwards, and she tries not to vomit.

She glares at him, eyes narrowing in concentration.

He smiles back pleasantly. "Whatever you're trying to do, it's not going to work. Your magic tank is practically empty." He tilts his head to the side, eyes dropping to her chest. "Wow, your ticker's going a mile a minute. _Relax_. It'll replenish itself in time. I know food will certainly help. You're looking a little thin. Have you been skipping meals?"

The thought of eating anything he prepared with Jen's blood drying on her hands is enough to make her throat close. "Why can't I get up?"

"Because I don't want you to, and I know a nifty little spell that will keep you where I want you."

Trapped.

He tsks. "Listen to that little heart go. You're like a hummingbird."

She takes a deep breath, suppressing her panic. "Where's Caroline?"

"Oh, don't worry. She's fine. Just on house arrest."

"You destroyed her daylight ring."

"Well, yeah." He shrugs, picking up his knife and fork. "Can't have her crashing our reunion. I only made enough for two."

"I _made_ that for her."

He pouts. "You made her a ring she would wear for the rest of her undead life. Are you trying to make me jealous?"

A rush of anger hits her system. It helps her focus. "You're _insane_."

"There's no need to be rude. I just want to break bread with you."

"The last meal we shared together, you stabbed and abandoned me in your prison world."

He pauses mid-chew, a corner of his lips curve up. He swallows his bite, pointing his fork at her. "You have a _very_ good memory."

"I've got a scar that serves as a _very_ good reminder."

His dark eyes lazily skips down her body. "Care to show and tell?" She scoffs at him incredulously. "Worth a shot. Your food's getting cold, Bonnie."

"I'm not hungry."

"I don't believe you," he sings.

"How do I know you're not trying to poison me?"

Kai looks genuinely insulted. "If I wanted to kill you, why would I go through the trouble of sweating over the stove? C'mon, Bon. I know how much you love my cooking."

"Don't kid yourself. You're not some five-star chef."

"The way you cleaned your plate during Thanksgiving says otherwise."

"I was trying to get away from you as fast as possible."

"Ouch. You really know how twist the blade, don't you?" He slouches in his seat, affecting a relaxed air. Bonnie tenses when he casually twirls his knife in one hand. She may know how to twist it, but she also knows how deep he can plunge it, cutting through skin and muscle and sinew. She angrily picks up her fork and digs into the meal. Kai beams. "That wasn't so hard now, was it?"

The food is perfectly seasoned and perfectly cooked. Her tastebuds dance at the flavors. Everything melts in her mouth. She doesn't think she can hate him more.

"So how was your semester?"

"Why don't you tell me?"

"I know I'm damn-near all powerful, Bonnie, but alas, I can't read minds." He winks. " _Yet_."

She suppresses the chill that zips up her spine. "You can drop the act, Kai. I know you've been stalking me."

" _Stalking_. Such a great verb. How apt." He licks a smear of whipped potatoes off the corner of his mouth. "What gave me away?"

"Why else would you give me Jen's heart?"

"Would you have preferred mine?"

"Yes, with a stake through it."

"I bet you would." He laughs. "C'mon, at least give me partial credit here. She was _such_ a bitch to you."

"I didn't know you cared, being a humanity-less witchpire and all."

"Are you really using one of Damon's silly nicknames?" He shakes his head in disappointment. "I thought you were better than that."

Inexplicably, she feels completely humiliated by this, and it angers her. She takes a deep, calming breath and checks her magic reserves again. It's still much too low for even the simplest defensive spell, much less an outright attack. "What game are you playing at, Kai?"

"Why does everyone think I'm up to something?"

"Because you're a sociopath."

"Can't we have a pleasant conversation over dinner?" He nods at her plate. "At least finish your food before you start the name-calling. Man, Damon's really rubbed off on you."

She drops her utensils and shoves her nearly empty plate away. "I've lost my appetite. Must be the company."

"Is that so?" he asks, teeth gleaming. He's behind her in an instant, tilting her head to the side forcibly. "Funny, because your company's whetting mine." He inhales deeply at the same time she gasps, his nose lightly tracing the line of her shoulder to her neck. "Time for the main course."

"I'm on vervain," she grits out. She tries to push his head away with both hands, tries to snap his neck, but he loops his arm through her elbows and pins them down against her body.

"I like a little spice in my food. The burn keeps things _exciting_."

The scream dies in her throat as his fangs puncture her neck. The heat of his mouth scorches her. The tight pressure of his lips sucking blood out of her hurts so much, she nearly blacks out from the pain. He growls, sending vibrations skittering across her skin as his mouth sizzles from the vervain. But he doesn't stop.

When he finally retracts his fangs and releases her, Bonnie pitches forward. Her head slams onto the table and her vision explodes into painfully bright lights.

"I gotta say Bon, I've eaten a lot of witches, but none of them taste as good as you do."

He sounds muffled, and far away. She can hardly hear him over the ringing in her ears. What was he saying? She can barely focus on anything other than the wooden surface underneath her cheek.

"C'mon Bonnie, your turn. We're not done playing." He pulls her head up by her hair before lowering it, her lips landing on his bleeding wrist. Vampire blood. She weakly licks at the wound. It tastes awful, worse than usual. The sweet, coppery tang has a bitterness to it, like poison. His hand presses the back of her head down harder against his wound, making more blood fill her mouth. A shadow falls across her face. She blinks, tilting her head to the side. Kai looks at her with a stained smile, his head resting on the table mere inches from hers. The light from the kitchen is behind him, casting his features in darkness. He flexes his wrist against her, and she chokes down another rush of blood.

"Did I take too much?"

His question tugs something loose in her mind, formless but familiar. Bonnie brings shaky fingers up to his face and slowly traces the fading veins beneath his blood red eyes, missing the startled look on his face. _I've done this before_ , she thinks. Hazy mornings in bed. Warm, soft lips between her thighs. Her pupils dilate at the memory of her desire for him.

Kai's smile retreats as shock washes over his face. His breath catches slightly. "Now that's a reaction I didn't expect."

There's something in his tone she can't place. Her hand drops to the table between them. "Is this another dream?" she asks quietly, her words muffled against his healed wrist. The pounding in her head is fading. Things are less muddled now, but she still can't make sense of the man in front of her or the intensity of his gaze roaming over her face.

"Bonnie Bennett." In a flash, he clears the table and pins her body to it before the plates hit the floor. "What secrets are you hiding from me?"

The sound of porcelain shattering clears the fog from her head and anchors her back in the moment. He hovers over her, half of his pale face burnt and stained with her vervain blood. She can still taste his bitter blood coating the back of her throat. She flinches away, her legs drawing up slightly on reflex. His immobility spell is gone.

"Get off of me!" She thrashes against him.

"Not until you answer my question." He catches her hands when she tries to claw at the open scars on his face, and traps them between their bodies. "What game are _you_ playing at, Bonster?"

His question ignites a rage in her that she can barely contain. " _I'm_ playing a game? You're the one who broke into my house and trashed my room with your stupid, fake apology drafts. You're the one following me around and messing with my head in my sleep. If anyone should be asking that question, it's me!"

He lifts an eyebrow. "You've been dreaming of me?"

" _Stop lying!_ You know I have because _you're_ doing it. I don't know how, but you are, and I won't let you mess with me anymore," she growls, lifting her head up as if she means to bite him back.

He laughs. "I have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm always glad to know I'm not far from your thoughts." He leans closer to her, eyes glinting with amusement. "Tell me, what exactly am I doing in these dreams?" Bonnie flushes involuntarily and pulls away. A slow grin cuts across his face. " _Oh_. Well, all you had to do was ask, Bon. I'd be happy to make your dreams come true."

"Then why haven't you dropped dead yet?"

"If you can recall a certain _magical_ wedding, I've already done that. C'mon. Don't make me compel you."

"Witches can't be compelled."

"Are you sure? Why don't we give it a test run?" he says, lowering his head until he's barely a breath away from her lips. His pupils expand, darkness eating up the gray. She's terrified it'll swallow her whole too. "Bonnie Bennett, I want you to dream of me, tonight and every other night, doing unspeakably wicked things to you. And I want you to enjoy every moment of it."

His words reverberate in the sliver of space between them. She knows it's impossible, but it doesn't stop her body from locking up; doesn't stop her green eyes from widening in panic. Because who knows what he discovered in the months that he's been gone? What limits did a hybrid like him have? _What if_?

Kai burst out laughing in her face and releases her, backing away. "See? It worked! You're already doing it."

Bonnie flings herself off the table and glares at him. She's never hated anyone more in this moment. It consumes her like a disease; coats her skin in sweat and shortens her breath. She burns and shivers and aches from the fever of it all, this blue-black hatred in her heart.

"What the hell do you want from me?"

"You are really not paying attention, Bonnie," he tsks. He dips a napkin into a glass of water before using it to wipe her blood off his face, hissing when it passes over his open wounds.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not going to spell it out for you. Where's the fun in that? But here's a clue: all roads lead to you, me, and 1994." He drops the bloodied cloth and smiles at her, his face perfectly unblemished. He tilts his head toward the door. "Company's here. Guess that's my cue to leave. See you around, Bonster."

He vanishes just as a crash echoes through the house.

"Kai!" Caroline shouts.

Bonnie glances at the window. The sun had set.

Caroline zooms into the kitchen, blonde hair flying behind her. "Bonnie! Are you okay?" she asks, her red eyes fading back to blue.

She doesn't answer and flinches away when Caroline gets too close. She knows Caroline won't hurt her, but a deeper part of her remembers how she thought that way about Elena too, and how easily that humanity switch can be flipped to prove her wrong.

She can't risk it, not with her friend's predatory nature so close to the surface. Not with her neck still wet with blood.

Not with the phantom press of Kai's teeth against her throat.

 **xxx**

Bonnie doesn't sleep for three days. Coffee carries her through most of it as they come up with a plan to stop Kai. When she drinks her sixth cup of the day on an empty stomach, her system revolts and she spends half an hour grasping the toilet bowl with twitchy hands and vomiting a concoction of sour bile and bitter caffeine.

"You need _sleep_ ," Caroline stresses, handing a bottle of water to her.

"I'm okay," Bonnie says weakly. She swigs the water around her mouth before spitting it out.

"Your head is _literally_ in the toilet."

"I don't need rest. I need this plan to work so that we can get rid of Kai for good."

"Everything is set. All we need is the prey."

Bonnie scoffs at the irony of calling a predator like him prey. She rinses her mouth one more time before standing up. "I sent him the message. He should be here soon."

They move downstairs to the living area of the Salvatore house. Bonnie quickly saturates the air with magic to disguise the cloaking spell she placed on Alaric. It's a calculated risk to deplete her magic this way, but they can't have Kai sensing the ambush. Seconds after she's finished, the front door is blasted off its hinges and falls to the floor with a thunderous boom.

"Honey, I'm home!" Kai announces. He glances at Bonnie and Caroline, before allowing his eyes to roam the room curiously. "Why the magical display, Bon?"

Caroline speeds toward him, but Kai freezes her in place. "Still using the same old vampire tricks? You know, they say insanity is doing the same thing again and again while expecting different results," he says, casually lifting her into the air in an invisible chokehold.

A dart suddenly imbeds itself in his neck. He pulls it out quickly, letting out a pained groan. Caroline drops to the floor coughing.

"That's something new," Alaric states triumphantly, appearing by the banister. "Vervain-laced tranquilizer."

Kai laughs breathlessly, locking eyes with Bonnie before he crumbles to the floor unconscious. She releases her breath. It worked. Caroline lifts Kai's dead weight and drops his body into a chair.

"Easy part's over," Alaric says calmly as he purposefully binds Kai's hands to the chair with thick ropes soaked with vervain. Smoke rises from where it touches his skin. "Now we need to get him to talk."

"Too bad we can't just stake him," Caroline grouses, rubbing her throat.

"We need to figure out a way to reverse his spell on Elena first," Bonnie reasons. Cautiously, she approaches his slumped form, half-expecting him to jump up and shout, "Just kidding!" He remains motionless, his face serene. This close to him, she realizes something she never noticed before. His lips naturally curve up in his sleep.

He looks like he's smiling.

 **xxx**

They all watch as he wakes up slowly. He hisses when he tries to move his hands, wrists raw and bloody from the ropes. He blearily assesses his surroundings. The group tenses up when his eyes land on them and he smiles unexpectedly.

"Congratulations. You caught me."

"Don't be so positive. It's annoying," Caroline reproaches.

"We've got a few questions for you," Alaric says calmly, holding a loaded crossbow. Kai starts laughing. "You think this is funny?"

"It's very _Interview with a Vampire_ ," he says offhandedly.

"We can make it _Torture of a Heretic_ ," Caroline suggests, sharply raising an eyebrow.

"So dramatic." He rolls his eyes before turning his attention to Alaric. "Listen, 'Ric. There's no need for this whole production, although I do appreciate the teamwork. 'A' for effort. I'd be happy to answer whatever questions are troubling your little world. After all, we're practically family. Or rather, we almost were."

Bonnie and Caroline freezes, their eyes meeting in panic.

"What are you talking about?" Alaric furrows his brows.

He tilts his head to the side. "Do you not remember your wedding day?"

"Shut up, Kai," Bonne snaps, her heart thumping in her chest. He looks at her, pouting, but complies.

"No, let him talk," Alaric demands. He looks at his left hand, noting the lack of a ring. "I'm married?"

"Mm, not really. You almost married my twin." Kai takes in the bewildered look on Alaric's face, and raises an eyebrow. "Josette? Does that name ring any bells?"

"Jo? We broke up because she took a job in Paris."

"Why does your amnesia stink of Damon? Don't worry, I can fix that for you."

Alaric reels back, clutching his head, and Kai smirks as the crossbow clatters on the floor.

"No!" Bonnie immediately crushes Kai's throat with her magic, breaking his concentration and spell.

"You always know how to take my breath away," Kai rasps.

Bonnie glares at him while she helps Alaric sit on the couch.

"Is he okay?" Caroline asks over her shoulder as she picks up the crossbow and aims it at Kai.

"She was pregnant," Alaric says softly, rubbing his temples. "She thought it was the Thai food. I remember watching her walk towards me in her white dress. She was so beautiful."

"Alaric," Bonnie trails off, unsure of what to say.

He looks at her, dazed. "What happened? Did she get cold feet? Is that why she moved abroad?"

Surprised, Bonnie glances over at Kai. Why didn't he show Alaric the whole truth?

"I'm not a complete _monster_ ," he answers with an easy smile, unfazed that Caroline has a stake aimed at his heart. "He's old enough to understand a story without pictures to hold his attention. 'Ric, buddy. Jo died along with the rest of our coven when I became a Heretic."

"What?" Alaric's brows furrow. "But...how?"

"He killed them," Caroline accuses angrily.

"No, that's not how it happened. Fine, if you're going to force my hand, I'll just show you."

Bonnie winces, a sudden pressure builds behind her eyes, whitening her vision. Images flicker behind her eyelids like a sped up movie reel, dark and bright and always red. Jo arching away from the blade plunged in her back, a dark stain blooming on her white dress. Windows shattering, glass shards flying everywhere, breaking skin and drawing blood. A crowd of injured witches chanting, magic rising in the air. The acute pain of glass severing arteries in the neck, and collapsing to the ground next to Jo.

And then, darkness. Bonnie starts to panic in the pitch black, life-ending nothingness. Claustrophobic in the vastness of death.

Suddenly, she feels it. A sharp kick in her back.

"Get up, Kai."

Jo appears looking down at her, bright and painful to the eyes like the sun. She's disgruntled in her ruined wedding dress turned burial gown. Her stomach is flat.

"Oh. You waited." Kai can't hide the surprise in his voice.

"I didn't do it on purpose." She crosses her arms, jutting out her hip when she shifts her weight to one foot. "Who could've guessed you were going to do yourself in like that? I was almost gone when I felt you dying."

"You still didn't have to stay."

She sighs tiredly. "We were born together. It only makes sense that we leave together too." Bonnie blinks, and Jo transforms into a young girl with stick-straight dark hair and bangs. She holds out her hand, a bittersweet smile gracing her lips. "C'mon, Malachai. Our time is up."

Bonnie's view shifts as Kai stands. Jo tilts her head up to look at her now, hand still outstretched.

"Sorry, Josette. I've still got some sand left in my hourglass."

Her arm falls to her side. "What did you do?" she asks, alarmed.

"Made a deal with the devil." Bonnie hears the smugness in his voice as Jo's blue eyes widen in realization.

"Tell me you didn't." Jo grips his arms tightly as if she could bring him with her, as if she could stop the inevitable, as if she could save him. Her brother, who had cost her so much in life, and who, Bonnie realizes with a breaking heart, she loved despite everything.

His hands cradle her face gently. "You don't have to wait for me anymore. This is the last time we'll see each other. Goodbye, Jo."

" _Kai!_ "

The pressure vanishes as quickly as it came, and Bonnie finds herself back in her body in the Salvatore house. Her head throbs as she peers around the room. Caroline and Alaric are in a similar state while Kai merrily taps his fingers on the chair.

"See? I didn't kill them all. Just Jo and myself."

"You're the leader of the coven," Alaric says gravely. "If you die, they all die. Isn't that what you told me?"

Kai shrugs carelessly, hissing as his wrists move against the ropes, vapor rising into the air. "Collateral damage. I didn't mean for them to die."

"Damon said they found your coven in Portland. Everyone was drained of blood. Are you going to say you didn't mean to do that either?" Caroline demands.

"No, that wasn't me. It was the 1903 group." Kai raises an eyebrow at their stunned silence. "Didn't any of you wonder what happened to them? When I went back after my little talk with Bonnie," he pauses to wink at her, making Bonnie grind her teeth, "they had already descended on the scene. Must've been the smell of blood that drew them there. It was really unpleasant to watch. As the leader of the now defunct coven, I couldn't let that go unpunished. I rounded everyone up and we all took a trip back home. I buried my coven and sent the tourists on their merry little way back to the prison world."

"I thought the prison worlds were destroyed when you died too," Alaric says, narrowing his eyes.

"Very good! You do paying attention. I had to convince and then teach a very powerful witch how to create a new one. We went to Alaska and used the northern lights as the celestial event to send Lily Salvatore and her friends off to have some more quality time together. I didn't want to wait for an eclipse. That's a little too close to home for me." Kai smiles brightly. "But don't worry. I was nicer to them than my dad was to me when he trapped me in 1994. When everything was said and done, I killed the witch, destroying the prison world to ensure that they could never escape."

Bonnie's head spins with the information. If what he said were true, he's been too busy to mess with her, especially from the other side of the country. He really doesn't know anything about her dreams. Caroline was wrong.

"So you didn't do that to Jo?" Caroline asks skeptically.

"Oh, Jo was me. I drank her dry." Alaric lunges for him, but Bonnie manages to freeze him in place. "I don't know why you're so upset. If it hadn't have been me, it would've been them. At least I'm _family_. Her blood is my blood."

"You're a monster," Bonnie accuses, breathless from the magic she's spent.

Kai shrugs. "Yeah, you're right. But she still waited for me."

His nonchalant attitude infuriates her. Despite knowing that his humanity switch is off, she can't understand how he's so careless about his twin, especially when she can still feel Jo's desperate hold on Kai's arm, can still see how a devastated younger Jo looked at Kai.

"How do we know you're telling the truth? About any of it?" Alaric demands.

"Come closer and I'll show you. Clear that memory block right up."

"Alaric, don't." Caroline steps in his path, but he pushes her aside.

"Unless you're going to free my hand, you'll have to kneel. I have to touch your head," Kai explains, amused.

Alaric glares, and for one terrible moment, Bonnie thinks he'll do it. But he turns around and walks away, taking the crossbow back from Caroline.

"Well that was anticlimactic," Kai pouts.

Alaric fires a stake into Kai's shoulder. He grunts in pain, but manages to grin through it.

"Give me a reason why the next one shouldn't go through your heart," Alaric says, loading another one in the crossbow.

"If it does, please give it to Bonnie after I die. Wouldn't want it to go to waste."

 _Just like Jen._ The thought strikes her in the chest. A cold sweat breaks out over her body. Bonnie doesn't know if she's going to scream or cry, feeling the pressure of her long delayed panic attack swell over her defensive walls. It's not fair. Why should she fall apart when he is so cool despite being tortured? He should feel as wretched as she does now, but he doesn't because he cheated. No humanity means no feelings. He is the proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing, biding its time among the herd before it attacks.

"Not a problem. Tell us how to lift your sleep spell on Elena, and I will personally ensure that a sharp piece of wood goes through your chest," Caroline offers.

"Why only true love's first kiss can wake Sleeping Beauty. Didn't Damon try it already?" Kai makes an exaggerated wince. "Did he and it didn't work? That must've been awkward. Stefan should give it a try."

Caroline smiles calmly. In the next second, she breaks off the leg of a side table and runs it through his guts. Kai howls, blood spurting from his mouth. "That's for breaking my neck _twice_ and melting my ring."

He bares his bloody teeth at her and asks cheerfully, "I see you've got a shiny new replacement." He nods towards the daylight ring on her finger. "Call it even then?"

"Not even close," she growls.

"That's not fair."

"Undo the spell, Kai!" Bonnie's voice echoes in the room. Everyone looks at her, stunned by the ferocity of her outburst. The attention unsettles her sleep-deprived nerves even more. She curls her fingers into her palms tightly to hide the tremors. He's toying with them, twisting their focus and their emotions to see how far he can push them, knowing they're not going to kill him just yet. She won't stand for it. They need to stick to the plan, get an answer out of him so that she never has to see him or hear his voice ever again.

"Speaking of sleep beauties, when's the last time you had some shut-eye, Bon?" Kai drawls. "Studies show that sleep deprivation leads to memory issues and a decline in performance and alertness. Try to lay off those caramel lattes. It's more sugar than caffeine anyway."

The fireplace erupts into flames with the intensity of her rage.

Kai raises his eyebrows, appearing mildly alarmed. "Bonnie, you're burning through your magic."

"I'll burn through more than that if you don't tell us what we want to know!"

He sighs. "Okay. This isn't fun anymore. Why don't we switch roles?"

Kai lifts his arms, the thick ropes around his wrists snapping easily. They're caught off guard, shocked that he broke free, and he takes complete advantage of it. Caroline's head jerks sharply to the left with a loud crack. The crossbow falls from her limp hands and hits the floor seconds before her dead body does. Alaric tries to dive for the weapon, but Kai waves his hand and flings him across room into the wall. Kai grunts as he pulls the stake out his body, slowly getting to his feet.

Bonnie clenches her teeth, forcing herself to stand her ground as he approaches her. Kai steps over Caroline's body, whistling an upbeat tune. He stops inches away, and smiles cheerfully down at her. She presses her lips together and takes a fortifying breath before meeting his gray-blue gaze with her steady green eyes.

"Were you pretending all along?" she asks quietly.

He tilts his head to the side, the corners of his eyes crinkling in mirth. "You ask such silly questions, Bonnie, and never the important ones."

"I'd like an answer all the same."

"You did catch me, although I didn't try very hard to avoid your trap. You're not the type to use your magic so wastefully, especially if I'm around." He holds his hands up so that his wrists are eye level with her. Dried blood on smooth, unsinged skin. "You know vervain works on me. So what's the answer to this riddle, Bon? How did I get out? Care to take a stab at it?"

She feels strangely stiff and slow, like her flight or fight instincts have vanished and all she can do in the face of this predator is stare. Her eyes dart between his face and his hands, waiting for him to strike. He can hear her racing heart, and from the pleased expression on his face, he's enjoying her fear. A loud pop from the crackling fireplace behind her dispels the phantom paralysis. Her mind clears and replays the last five minutes, searching for an answer. A bead of sweat trickles down her back from the heat of the fire.

Suddenly, it comes to her. "Magic," she says softly. Vervain neutralizes a vampire's ability, but it has no effect on a witch's powers. "The smoke from your wrists. You were burning the vervain out of the ropes."

Kai wets his lips, pride radiating off him. "Pretty _and_ smart. Good job, Bonster."

Faster than she can take her next breath, Bonnie finds herself in the chair, bound to it by his magic.

"Now it's my turn to interrogate you. Did you get my message?"

"I told you I got your stupid letters," she growls, trying to get her body to obey her will.

He waves his hands dismissively. "No, those are ancient. Wrote them after I saw you at that party. I was trying to purge all those sticky emotions out on paper since you didn't want to talk to me in person. I haven't even stepped foot inside your house since 1903 happened. I'm talking about my recent one."

She blinks, surprised. "What are you talking about?"

"Still not paying attention, huh?" He sighs. "Guess I can't be too mad since you've had a busy semester. Why don't I help you? What was the first thing you learned about me?"

"That you're a murderer."

"And my victims?"

"Your _siblings_."

"How did they die, Bonnie?" He slowly enunciates the words.

The memory resurfaces. The perpetual summer day. The newspaper ink staining her hands. Damon hovering over her left shoulder. Kai casually explaining, _"These two I hung off the stairwell railing. Then I put a hunting knife in her abdomen. And him, I drowned in the pool."_

The truth strikes her like a punch in the stomach. "The campus suicides. It was you."

"Mhm."

Bonnie clenches her hands. Two Seniors and Jen. "Who was the fourth?"

"Well I didn't get a chance to finish since you came back to Mystic Falls." He walks over to Alaric's slumped body and drags him closer to Bonnie. "I hung two people and drowned one. There's Jo, but I let her live so that doesn't count. All that's left is a blade to the guts. Let's complete that shall we?" A flash of metal shoots across the room and suddenly he has a knife in his hand.

" _Stop!_ " she screams. "Why are you doing this? To announce that you're back? You're already here, talking to me. No one else has to die. Those students...and Jen. Isn't that enough?"

Kai pauses. "Jen? She wasn't part of this."

"You said you drowned someone."

"Yeah, but not her. I only cut out her heart while she was alive."

Her breath hitches at the gruesome visual, and she suppresses the urge to throw up. "Who was it then?"

The impish grin that spreads across his face nearly stops her heart. It's someone she knows.

"What was that guy's name? The swimmer."

Her lungs seizes in her chest. _No. No, no, no._

He snaps his fingers. "Cullen! Not a bad pick, Bonnie. I mean, I'm obviously better in every way, but he was okay for a semester fling."

Hearing his name, kind, patient Cullen who didn't deserve anything bad, cracks something inside of her. "Why?" she asks hoarsely.

"I didn't like how he stole that kiss from you." Heat flares across her face, angry and mortified that he saw them that day. "But more importantly, how great is the irony that a swimming athlete drowns? Oh, there's going to be an investigation, seeing as I broke his wrists and threw him face down in the middle of the pool, but I'm not worried about it. I'll just get someone to take the fall."

Rage rises inside her like lava, thick and hot enough to melt everything away. In that anger, Bonnie discovers an untouched energy source inside of her. She gingerly anchors her dwindling magic there, and is immediately saturated with power. It takes no effort to break Kai's binding spell and stand up. The air crackles with her magic and whips around them in the room like a twister.

Kai's surprise quickly morphs into anger. "Stop it, Bonnie. You don't know what you're doing."

She scoffs. What arrogance. Lifting a hand, she waves it lightly and sends him tumbling into the bookshelves with enough force that the structure falls on him. Bonnie entertains the thought of setting it on fire, and smoke rises from the pile of books and wood.

Suddenly she jerks forward, an invisible tug on her arm pulling her off-balance. Kai materializes in front of her the instant her body collides into his. Her arms wrap around him on reflex and before she can push him away, he sends a pulse through her body, disrupting the connection to her power source. Without it, she slumps against him, exhausted and weak. He carries her effortlessly and eases her back into the seat. When he pulls away, she can see how furious he is, despite the gentle way he moved her.

"You are so powerful, I forget that you're self-trained and still green around the ears." He pushes her hair out of her face and lightly pinches her nose. "That bright pool of magic you tapped into was your life force. You're killing yourself if you use it. Don't you know I'm the only one allowed to do that?"

"I told him he would be okay," she chokes out, eyes welling up with tears.

"I know you did." He makes a consoling noise in the back of his throat. "It's not your fault. Some things are just out of your control, you know?"

Alaric groans softly on the floor, catching Kai's attention. He walks over, thinking out loud, "Now where were we?" A knife materializes in his hand. "Ah! Right here." He drives the blade into Alaric's stomach.

" _No!_ " Bonnie screams. She reaches for her magic, for that bright pool inside of her, but comes away with nothing.

Alaric lets out a strangled cry when Kai slashes the knife across his stomach before pulling it out. Blood rushes out of him. Alaric bands an arm around the wound in an effort to staunch it, but the damage is too big and deep.

"Save him! Please!" Bonnie sobs, tears stinging her eyes and falling down her face. "I'll do anything you want. I swear! Just stop it. Save him. _Please, please, please._ "

Kai drops on his knee in front of her and lifts her chin up with his hand, smearing Alaric's blood on her skin. "There, there, Bonster. It'll be okay." She opens her eyes and looks at him desperately, half-fearful of seeing his vampire side up close again with Alaric's blood scenting the air. Kai is completely calm, looking down at her with faux sympathy. It's something that normally enrages her, his indifference, but she's too drained to do anything but beg, much to her humiliation. He moves closer, and gently kisses her tears away. Bonnie flinches every time his lips touch her skin, stunned and terrified by his actions.

"Don't touch me!" She tries to twist out of his grip, but he holds her steady.

"Oh Bonnie. You can drop the act. We both know you've been _dreaming_ of having my hands all over you. Why settle for your imagination when you can have the real thing?" he asks, a silent laugh coloring his voice.

She hates him so much, bile rises to her throat.

"Admit it." He leans in, pupils dilating. "I'm the only one for you."

Bonnie stays silent. After a moment passes, relief washes through her, uncoiling the tension locking up her limbs. He really can't compel her. Kai continues to stare at her intently. Confused, her eyes dance over his face. He must've realized by now that his compulsion failed, but instead of being frustrated or angry, he seems content with just looking at her.

"Bonnie...get away..." Her eyes dart over to Alaric. He's lost color in his face, but still he weakly stretches his free arm for the crossbow inches away from his fingers.

"Kai, _please_ ," Bonnie whispers shakily, locking her green eyes with his gray ones. "Don't let him die."

He grins at her. "Since you asked so nicely." He moves away, and immediately she can breathe easier. "'You're always having such bad days whenever I see you, 'Ric. I'm starting to think there's a correlation here." Kai lazily kicks the crossbow across the floor. Knees cracking as he crouches down, Kai bites into his wrist and presses the injury to Alaric's lips. "C'mon. Don't be shy."

Bonnie watches Alaric's throat contract haltingly. Seconds later, Alaric's hand comes up to grasp Kai's forearm and drinks deeper from the wrist. "His heartbeat is stronger," Kai announces in a bored tone. She lets out a relieved sigh. Alaric's going to make it.

"Whoever broke down my door is going to have to replace it," an aggravated voice calls out behind her, pinging through her nervous system.

They're back.

"Who invited you two?" Kai asks, annoyed.

"You're in _our_ house," Damon points out, indignant.

Stefan rushes to Bonnie's side. "Hey, you okay?" He takes her in, looking for a hint of broken skin or blood. He gently rubs her jawline and stares at his bloodstained fingers.

"It's Alaric's," she answers softly.

Kai shrugs. "Okay, that's fair." He quickly breaks Alaric's hold on his arm and puts him in a headlock. "Make one move against me and your dear old friend here gets his neck snapped."

"You gave him your blood. He'll survive." Damon prowls further into the room.

"How do you think he'll handle remembering everything about Jo?" Kai taunts.

"Damon you need to take him down," Alaric wheezes out, struggling against Kai's hold.

"Hostages don't talk during the negotiations," Kai says, waving a hand over Alaric's mouth, magically sealing it shut. Damon takes a step forward, but stops when he sees Kai's arm tighten around Alaric's neck.

"Stefan. Caroline." Bonnie juts her chin out. Stefan turns and sees Caroline lying motionless on the floor. In the span of a heartbeat, he takes Caroline's body out of harm's way.

"Aw, that's cute. Stefan right? I'm Kai. Don't think we've ever been properly introduced."

Stefan steps in front of Caroline. "I see my brother continues to make stellar friends while I'm away."

"That is not the word I'd use," Damon interjects.

Kai shrugs. "I can agree on that."

"What're you doing here Kai? Why the elaborate Alaskan Trail?" Stefan asks impatiently.

"Maybe I just wanted you to see the Northern Lights. Have you ever thought about that?"

"He sent the Heretics to another prison world," Bonnie explains tiredly, slowly rising to her feet.

Damon's eyes dart to his brother. Stefan swallows tightly. "What about Lily?"

"Oh, she was with them. Your mom was a nice lady and all, but she was a little crazy and I just did not have time to deal with her. Nothing personal of course."

Stefan nods. In the next second, he breaks off the leg of a nearby wooden table and throws it at Kai's head. With little effort, Kai suspends it midair.

"That wasn't very nice." Kai twists his wrists and snaps Stefan's neck. He collapses next to Caroline's body.

Bonnie senses Damon shifting next to her, he moves two feet before halting abruptly, grunting in frustration against an invisible force.

"You're really bad at protecting people, Damon." Kai frowns at Alaric, who struggles harder against him. "And you, 'Ric, are really ungrateful. I saved your life, and this is how you repay me?" He mutters a spell that Bonnie doesn't recognize. Alaric instantly slumps in Kai's hold. Kai glances over at Bonnie and rolls his eyes. "It's a sleep spell." He casually tosses Alaric's slumbering form into the sofa.

"I sincerely hope you also linked his life to yours like you did to Elena and Bonnie. I can kill two birds with one stone that way," Damon snarls.

Kai smiles and circles his finger in the air, twirling the broken table leg until the splintered side faces Damon. "Isn't this familiar? Me, aiming something wooden and pointy at your heart. You, unable to stop me. And Bonnie, without magic, who can only stand by and watch. I'm getting deja vu." He tilts his head to the side. "Isn't it funny how certain things just repeat itself?"

"Kai, don't!"

"You see, that's something I still don't get." Kai sits on the coffee table, resting his elbows on his knees. "Why do you even care about him, Bonnie? After all he's done to you? After constantly putting you down?"

Fragments of wood break off from the table leg.

"Is it the pretty blue eyes?"

Two pieces shoot across the room and embed themselves into his pupils. Damon screams, reflexively squeezing his eyes shut around the wood and worsening the pain.

"His stupid little smirk?"

More splinters off and strikes him near his mouth.

"His _awful_ habit of nicknaming everything?"

A cluster burrows in his throat. Blood streams down his face like tears, his pained expression a picture of gothic horror.

Bonnie yells for Kai to stop, pulse thundering at the suspended piece of wood that had slowly whittled into a stake. One still aimed at Damon's heart. She roots inside of her, trying to rally her exhausted magic reserves. Nothing. Frustrated, she digs deeper, looking for her life force. She didn't need much, just enough to stop Kai and get everyone out safely. How much will it really cost her? And even if it did cost her again, what was her life compared to four others? To her loved ones?

Her fingers brush against the smallest spark of power.

Throwing all of her energy behind it, Bonnie hurls a spell at Kai, freezing him in place and bursting the blood vessels in his brain, breaking his concentration. The stake falls. Damon drops to his knees, and quickly pulls the splinters out of his eyes, grunting in pain.

"I told you not to do that Bonnie," Kai says, his voice sharp with anger.

"I won't let you kill him," she snarls breathlessly.

"Why not? He was willing to let me kill you for Elena."

The truth of it slams into her, and it hurts so much she can hardly breathe.

"When my eyes heal, I'll give her your head as an apology," Damon promises lightly, wiping the blood off of his face.

"Let's see you try." Kai closes his eyes in concentration, his hands glowing red.

"I'm going to enjoy this." Damon rolls his shoulders back before speeding towards Kai. Centimeters away from making contact, he freezes again. Shocked, Damon strains to reach his target and growls when it remains out of reach.

Kai opens his stormy gray eyes triumphantly. He tilts his head back casually and sends Damon flying, suspending him against the wall. "You can't be enjoying this as much as me." He picks up the stake, twirling it in his hand.

"Kai, stop!"

He looks over at her, a scowl curling his mouth. He throws the stake and pierces through Damon's stomach, nailing him to the wall. "You've got more lives than a cat, Damon," he comments, releasing his spell. Damon screams as gravity drags his body weight down, widening the stomach wound. Fresh blood pours out of him. "You look tired. Why don't close your eyes for a while?"

A loud crack echoes in the air.

Kai stands up and walks over to her. It's just them now.

" _Bonnie_ ," he sings. "I've accommodated your irrational desire to save these people. What do I get in return? You did say anything, right?"

She doesn't have magic, but she knows there's one thing he'll always want. It's not like she could've stopped him from taking it anyway. Reluctantly she tilts her head to the side, exposing her neck.

Kai, who has maintained his human features since he stepped foot inside the boarding house, is immediately overcome with bloodlust. His eyes bleed over, fangs peeking out when his lips part. Bonnie averts her eyes when he leans over her. His hand comes up, sliding underneath the collar of her shirt to push it aside. His cool rings against her warm skin make her jump a little. His breath puffs against her neck. It's uneven, she thinks.

His lips land on the curve of her neck, tongue swirling on her skin. She whimpers, squeezing her eyes shut, waiting for his flesh-shredding teeth to sink in. He gives that spot on her neck a hard tug between his lips before lifting his head, mouth brushing against her ear.

"I love you being off balance because of me." His low, rumbling voice sending a shiver down her spine. She turns her head slightly and their gaze collides.

"Another time, Bonster." He winks, before vanishing.

She presses a shaking hand to where his mouth had been on her neck. The spot feels tender and bruised, but her fingers only come away with her sweat and not her blood. She tries to steady her breath, panic clawing at her lungs. He's so _powerful_ ; strong and fast and able to counter every attack they throw at him. How can they stop him, this vampire-witch hybrid with no weaknesses? She had been surrounded by her friends when he walked in, and it hadn't mattered. It still came down to the two of them.

Bonnie hugs her knees to her chest, trying to stop her body from trembling. She may have survived the encounter, but she has not been spared.

 **xxx**

The email sits unopened in her inbox between a clothing store ad and a notice from the registrar office that her final grades have been posted on the student portal. It's from the president of the college, confirming everything Kai told her about Cullen.

 _We are devastated by the loss of this bright young man. We are working in full cooperation with local authorities and have taken measures to increase security on campus for the upcoming semester. The Whitmore Counseling Center will remain open over the winter break. If you are in need of someone to talk to during this difficult time in our community, do not hesitate to call..._

Bonnie deletes the email and closes the laptop. She slumps on the table, head cradled in her crossed arms, and wishes for sleep so that she can just stop feeling altogether.

"Bonnie?" Caroline's voice washes over her. "Are you sure you don't want something to speed up the healing?"

"I'm fine."

"You know, it's okay that you're not. You don't have to say that if it's not true."

Her shoulders shake with silent, disbelieving laughter.

Caroline sighs. "C'mon. I made the guest bedroom up for you."

They walk up the stairs as Caroline complains about Damon. It's something they've done at least a thousand times. Bonnie finds herself straining in vain to hear the phantom sounds of Caroline's mom shuffling around in the kitchen loading dirty plates in the dishwasher. It occurs to her suddenly that they're all living alone in empty houses haunted by memories.

"Can you believe he had the audacity to complain about me being late?" Caroline's voice cuts through her morose thoughts. " _He_ went off the grid. _He_ was still dead when I pulled the stake out of his stomach." She sucks her teeth. "I should've left him up there and left his dead weight drag his black heart into the wood."

"Elena would never forgive you."

"Elena's asleep so unless _you_ rat me out," she punctuates the potential betrayal with a pointed stare, "she'll never know. And honestly, if we're talking about forgiveness, who says I've forgiven her bringing Damon into our lives?"

Bonnie climbs into bed. "He's part of the Salvatore package. You can't have Stefan without him."

"Who says I'm pleased with either of them?" she sniffs. Bonnie laughs softly as Caroline tucks her in. "It's good to see you laugh. Listen, we're going to deal with Kai together."

Bonnie looks helplessly into her friend's bright blue eyes. "How? Damon and Stefan couldn't even get near him."

Caroline heaves another sigh. "We'll figure something out."

Bonnie hesitates. "How are they?"

"The boys? They're fine. Just ego-hurt." Caroline raises her eyebrow. "Want to tell me about the weirdness between you and Damon? You got out of their house pretty fast, like vampire fast."

"Only if you spill on you and Stefan."

"There's nothing to tell. You already know I have a bad habit of falling for Elena's exes."

Bonnie reaches for her hand and squeezes it comfortingly. "Hey now. Remember the wrinkles bitterness cause."

"I'm a _vampire_ , Bonnie. Eternally young and allowed to be as bitter as I want for as long as I want."

"It's like you said. We want what we want, even if it's awful. You can't help your feelings."

"Is that what's happening with you and Damon?"

Bonnie sighs, rolling on her back to stare at the ceiling. "Damon loves Elena so much. And I get that. We both know she's amazing. But Damon and I spent months together trapped in the prison world, keeping each other from going insane. I thought we became closer after that, not enough for him to choose me over Elena, of course, but still..." She turns to look at Caroline, attempting a grin even though her eyes start to water. "When Kai gave him the choice, Elena awake or my life, he hesitated. And that really, _really_ hurt. Because it was my _life_. After everything I've done for him—" Her breath hitches in her throat. Warm tears trace lines down her face. "So it's not like you and Stefan, but I know how it feels to come second to Elena. I know how much it hurts."

Caroline rubs her eyes with the back of her hand, before gently wiping Bonnie's tears away. "Stop it. You're going to make me cry. No more comparing ourselves to Elena. You're brave, sweet, a complete knockout, and _my_ best friend."

Bonnie laughs, embarrassed. "I just need space from him. It's hard to forgive something like that."

"Don't forgive him. Join my club." Caroline smiles when her friend giggles, and reaches over to brush her fingers against the darkness on Bonnie's neck. "I still can't believe Kai gave you a hickey."

"Don't call it that." It disturbs her to hear it described as a love bite.

"Okay, okay. Try to get some sleep. Goodnight."

"Night."

Caroline squeezes her shoulder gently before turning off the lights and closing the door.

 **xxx**

Three hours later, Bonnie is still awake in bed, exhausted. There's an anxiety within her that has her mind churning over the past few days since Kai's return. She touches the bruise on her neck and her pulse skitters at the memory of his lips and tongue.

She doesn't want to acknowledge it, but it _is_ a hickey. When she tries to think of Kai's motivations beyond his sick, twisted desire to mess with her, there's something there that her emotions had prevented her from seeing before. Now that she's faced him twice and her feelings are not so overwhelming, there's an itch in the back of her head, a puzzle she's compelled to solve.

He has always been her problem. So she focuses on him, without reservation.

"You, me and 1994," she whispers to the dark room. Those were his words.

She thinks about his victims, Jen and Cullen, and why they were chosen.

She thinks about his eyes, dilated without the intent of compulsion.

She thinks about his anger, his white hot fury over her drawing from her life force.

 _I guess what I'm trying to say is your betrayal really hurt me, Bon, so this is kind of all your fault._

 _He likes you,_ Caroline had said.

But that can't be right. Kai kept mentioning 1994, and Caroline only saw 1903.

The pressure in her head increases, making her wince. It feels like she's mentally running into a wall. What is she hiding from herself?

And then, it comes to her.

 _You were the first person I saw in 18 years—_

 _You're just not used to guys hitting on you._ Damon.

 _Ignore him, Bonnie. Pretend he's a white-noise machine. That's how I used to tune out my siblings. I grew up with a ton of little sisters and brothers. You know, all of them constantly yammering. But it taught me how to focus._

He had been so close to her. It was the first time she'd seen his gray eyes dilated up close, and she remembers being flattered.

Her breath catches in her lungs. "Oh my god."

He _does_ like her, in his own sick, twisted, messed up way. And for one small moment in 1994, she liked him back.

But what about the dreams? He denied having anything to do with it, seemed genuinely shocked to hear about them altogether.

Bonnie throws the covers off her. She tiptoes downstairs, despite knowing that Caroline can hear her moving around. She quickly prepares the sleep brew, making it stronger than before, and drinks it quickly before returning to bed.

If Kai were telling the truth, then the dreams are her doing, and witches only have reoccurring dreams for one reason. It's a premonition. In order to find out what the warning is, she needs to finish the dream.

"The only way out is in," she murmurs to herself before slipping into the darkness.

 **xxx**

"Everyone needs saving." She gently runs her nails up and down his arms soothingly. "Even me."

"Okay. We'll save each other then." He pulls away to look into her eyes, raising a hand to gently stroke her cheekbone. "You do that by staying with me."

She turns her head to nuzzle his palm, half-wanting to hide from his stare. "For how long?" she asks, peering up at him from beneath her lashes.

"Forever should do it."

She laughs. "You're asking the impossible. I won't live that long. Not like you will."

His eyes dim, the playful air around him vanishing like smoke. She wants to take it back, this reminder of her mortality, hating how sad he looks.

"We'll see about that," he murmurs.

Bonnie brings her knees up, framing his waist and aligning their lower bodies. "Let's get back to the matter at hand." She shifts her hips and brushes against him, making him hiss.

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"You and me, in this really nice bed." Her hands sweep over his broad shoulders appreciatively. "You feel a little tense. Is there anything I can do to help you relax?"

"I've got a few ideas." Kai rocks teasingly against her, sliding between her folds but never entering. He hovers over her on his elbows, his nose gently grazing the tip of hers with each push of his hips. She giggles at the ticklish sensation.

"You're ruining the mood," he complains with a smile.

She nods, schooling her features in a stern frown. He laughs and stops, pressing his forehead against hers.

"No laughing. You're ruining the mood," she taunts, scratching the nape of his neck.

He looks at her with such affection that she feels a blush blossom on her face. Finally he enters her slowly with small, shallow thrusts. Her jaw drops at the feel of him inside her, hot and heavy and thick. It simultaneously eases the ache and worsens her desire. When he begs for a kiss, swearing her blood was gone through gritted teeth, she brings her hand to his face and nods. Their lips meet in the same moment their hips press flushed together, light and sweet. Bonnie doesn't pick up any trace of blood in his mouth. In fact, she can't taste him at all.

He keeps his hands off her, fisting them in the sheets on both sides of her head, and continues his measured thrusts, giving her time to adjust to his size. Their foreheads rest against each other, breaths mingling in the negligible space between their lips. Her hands roam the back of his shoulders, feeling his muscles flex underneath her palms, trembling with the effort of leashing his inhuman strength.

Kai doesn't want to hurt her.

"You can go faster," she murmurs against his lips.

He shushes her. "Don't rush this. I want it to be good for you."

Her eyes dance over his features. His pupils are blown wide, despite the sunlight spilling in around them, like he wants to take in every detail of her in this moment. It's incredible seeing how much he wants to please her, knowing she has this power over him.

She wraps her legs around his hips, allowing him to sink in deeper and making them both groan. He drops his body on her, mindful to keep most of his weight on his elbows. His pelvis presses down on hers in such a way that every stroke stimulates her clit, making her scream his name. The tension in her lower body coils up again, tighter and bigger than before.

Her nails dig into his back and his control slips, just that easily.

His arms wind around her pressing their bodies together, eliminating even the thought of space between them. He pumps into her faster, hips breaking rhythm. It feels amazing, having his weight bearing down on her, his arms holding her close, him inside of her. She's never felt such pleasure and safety. She skims kisses along the line of his shoulders, but pulls back when she feels the skin split beneath her lips. His hand comes up behind her head and presses her back to him, smearing his blood across her mouth. "Drink," he commands hoarsely, lips pressed against her ear. "I can't hold back anymore. I'm going to bite you again, and you need to take my blood."

Bonnie complies, feeling a savageness overcome her. She takes until the bite on her thigh doesn't throb anymore. She takes until her cells vibrate with new energy and power. She takes until she gets her fill, only it's never enough. So she takes and takes and _takes_. Even when his wound starts to heal, she digs her teeth in to keep it open, causing Kai to moan loudly, his hips jerking against her. His bite comes quick, fangs sinking deep into her neck. In this moment, he's everywhere, _everything_. No sensation or thought that crosses her mind is free of him. She can't even remember a time when they're not interlocked like this: him inside her, his blood coating her throat the way hers is in his mouth. His pace picks up. The force and speed of his thrusts hurtles her towards an end so great and terrible, she would've surely push him away completely if the hunger inside her weren't rushing to meet it eagerly.

He pulls back, prying his teeth away from her neck and forcing her to do the same. Kai is a terror to behold: a pale, monstrous face twisted in feral pleasure with bloodied eyes and mouth hovering over her. A nightmare in daylight. Bonnie's never been more scared of him. She wants to run to a place where she will never hear the name Kai Parker again for as long as she lives. But more than that, what she wants and fears the most is him. All of him. So she reaches out with trembling hands and half-formed pleas of _more, more, more._

He complies, and it unmakes her. She falls apart to the sound of her name on his lips, and to the hot spurt of his release in her body. It's the most powerful release she's ever experienced, so much so that it feels like dying. It takes her longer to come down from the high, and when she does she senses a fundamental shift in her being. Her body quivers with this powerful unknown, and she's grateful to still be tangled in his limbs and anchored to something. Kai gazes at her with languid satisfaction. A grin pulls at his lips and he gently wipes her face dry with his thumbs. Had she been crying?

"That's a hell of an ego boost, Bon," he preens.

"Shut up." She rubs her eyes, embarrassed. "Ugh, I must look terrible."

He rolls her over on her left side and wraps an arm wrapped across her breasts, pinning her back against his chest. The movement causes him to slip out of her and the hollowness he leaves steals her breath. Her body clenches involuntarily, still seeking his presence, and causes his seed to leak out onto her thighs. Glancing around, she recognizes the trappings of her childhood strewn around the room. They're not in her apartment at Whitmore, but in her bedroom back in Mystic Falls. He waves his free hand and the full length mirror next to the drawer slides in front of them.

"You're stunning," Kai praises, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Don't you see that?"

Bonnie is struck by their reflection. She takes in their contrasts: his large body curled around her small body; his pale skin stark against her dark skin; his muscular arm across her slim frame. Her green eyes catch on his gray ones, and she stops mentally cataloguing their differences, becomes solely focused on him. His hair is in complete disarray, and his eyes are heavy with pleasure. She's arrested by how handsome he is, and he looks equally enthralled by her. The tenderness on his face is something she can't deny anymore.

"I can see that you're happy," she confesses.

"That's because I have you." His hand glides down her stomach teasingly, and she hums when he cups her, his fingers playfully tugging at the hair there. Slowly, he wipes up his release on her thighs with his fingers and pushes it back inside her. "You look pretty pleased yourself."

Bonnie doesn't know if it's his touch or his words, but something suddenly snaps into place and sinks into the fabric of her DNA. She knows what has infected her, that unknowable thing. Love. It's different from what she's known in the past, more restless, but it's strong and insistent. She'll do anything and everything to keep him happy with her, and a chasm grows inside her at the mere thought that he may not be.

"I am," she whispers, leaning further into his embrace. She moves a hand to join his hand between her thighs. His fingers pump languidly inside her, making her whimper and shake at the sensation. She settles against his half-hard erection, making him sigh against her ears in relief and bliss.

"There's no need to be shy. Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you."

"I want you to be happy." It's more than that. She _needs_ him to be happy, especially with her.

He practically lights up with joy, and it mends the hole in her chest.

"Then stay, Bonnie. Give us a chance to have this for good. Will you do that?"

They gaze at each other through the mirror, sharing a bloodstained smile.

"Yes," she agrees breathlessly, turning in his arms for a kiss, "yes, yes, _yes_."

 **xxx**

Bonnie wakes up to sunlight streaming into Caroline's guest bedroom, feeling fully rested. She checks her phone for the time. Three in the afternoon. Letting out a yawn, she gives herself a full body stretch before getting out of bed, her movements fueled by purpose.

Her friends can't get close enough to Kai, but she can. Bonnie knows how to stop him.


	4. Part III

**Part III**

 **xxx**

"Please trust me on this."

"You're joking."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Caroline—"

"You can't be serious, Bonnie. And if you are, then it's my job to talk some sense into you—"

"This is the only logical—"

"—because that is _the_ _worst_ plan I have _ever_ heard—"

"Can you just _listen_ to me?" Bonnie stresses, sitting on the edge of the couch in Caroline's living room as her friend paces in front of her.

"Are _you_ listening to yourself? You think you can just waltz up to Kai and charm him into flipping his humanity switch back on like it's a walk in the park? After he almost killed us last week? _Have you lost your mind?_ " Caroline stops abruptly in front of her, stance wide with her hands on her hips. "I forbid you from doing this," she says resolutely.

Bonnie rolls her eyes. "You can't stop me."

"Is that a challenge?"

"I'm a _witch_. I can get around any locked doors you put me behind."

Caroline is decidedly unimpressed. "I'm your _best friend_. My guilt trip powers are better than any locks."

Bonnie laughs involuntarily.

Caroline's frown deepens. "You think I'm joking?"

"I'm not a child you can put in the corner. You can either help me to do what is necessary, or you'll get out of my way."

"That isn't a choice. How can I help you when your plan doesn't involve me at all?"

Bonnie stands up and rests her hands on Caroline's tense shoulders. "Let me do this. Trust that I can stop him and protect all of you."

Blue eyes narrow. "Last time I checked, we're a lot more durable than you. Who's going to protect you from Kai if things go wrong?"

"His dead, psychotic heart will." Bonnie meets Caroline's gaze confidently, knowing that any sign of hesitation will cause unwanted interference. "It's the oldest play in the book, Care. A pretty face can bring a man to his knees and start a war. I have it on good authority that Kai is partial to mine, which means I'm his switch. His _only_ switch. He's rogue now, but I can get him to turn his humanity back on."

"And if he kills you?"

"He won't."

"How are you so sure?"

"Because you didn't kill Stefan."

The muscles underneath her touch sag. "I know you're our best chance at this," Caroline admits, "but please let me help. You can't do this alone."

"You will be by keeping Stefan, Damon and Alaric away. Kai may have spared them last time, but it's not guaranteed that he'll do it again."

"If you're setting this trap on Friday, just let me know where. I'll stay out of sight, but I can rush in if things take a turn for the worst."

"At the school."

Caroline narrows her eyes. "Try again. This time without the tell-tale lying of your heartbeat."

Bonnie sighs. "I'll be at the Mystic Grill on Friday."

"Better." Caroline smiles with satisfaction. "Are you sure you don't want to come with me?"

She shakes her head. "Space, remember?"

"Are you _sure_ you don't want me to punch Damon in the face for you?"

"Tempting, but I'll pass."

Caroline walks to the front door with a sigh. "Fine. I'll do it for me then. See you tonight!"

After checking that Caroline was really gone, Bonnie runs up to the guest room. She lights a candle, before fetching a piece of rope stained with blood from the back of the drawer. Hands shaking, she scribbles a message on a thick cardstock before crumpling it in her hands. She murmurs an incantation, eyes closed in concentration. When her eyes open, the ashes of her message float around her like smog.

She blows out the candle and turns to finish packing. Duffle bag in hand, she takes one last glance around the room. Her breath catches in her throat when she sees a white note card leaning against the cooling candle jar. It hadn't been there before. Warily, she picks it up and flips it over, instantly recognizing his scrawl.

 _It's a date. See you tonight!_

On the porch, Bonnie touches the door frame with her eyes closed. Blood trickles out of her nose. She sways a little on her feet before straightening up. Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, Bonnie heads back to her house.

There's no turning back now.

 **xxx**

Bonnie carefully packs every sentimental item she owns and stores it in the basement. Photo albums. Grams' grimoires and oversized cardigans. Her dad's high school baseball trophy that he always polished on Sundays. She stares at her mom's crystal vase for a long time, wondering if she'd regret losing it after keeping it for so many years, before leaving it on the hallway table. If it gets destroyed, then at least she'll finally know how she really feels about her mom and whether she kept all of the motherly touches throughout the house out of love or obligation.

She may not live long enough to regret it anyway.

Thoughts like that make her write a letter to Caroline and Elena, placing the envelopes on top of the pile in the basement. "Just in case," she whispers to the empty room.

By the time she reaches the top of the basement stairs, weariness clogging her chest because she's _so_ _tired_ of having to say goodbye, an upbeat, three-strike knocking resounds through the house. Her breath catches in her throat. Steadying her nerves, she walks to the door at a measured pace.

 _I've faced death before_ , she thinks, _and I've always come back._

Bonnie grits her teeth as she twists the handle and flings the door open.

Kai beams at her obnoxiously. "You know, as romantic as these love notes are, you could've just given me your phone number." He holds out a bouquet of white lilies. "These are for you. To new beginnings."

She regards the arrangement with blank-face suspicion before flicking her green eyes up to meet his. "Whose grave did you rob?"

His smile deepens into something that looks like pride. He shrugs. "I wanted to give a pretty girl something pretty. Is that a crime?"

"Under these circumstances? Yes, it is." Bonnie steps aside, holding the door for him. "Come in."

She relishes his surprise as he tentatively steps over the threshold. He didn't think she would let him in so easily. She takes the flowers from him and arranges them in her mom's vase, forcing herself to deliberately turn her back to him. Being tense and skittish around him would only make her look weak, and she's done giving him the upper hand.

"Okay, I'll bite." He glances around. "Where's the trap? I don't sense a cloaking spell, so either your friends aren't here, or they've gotten a lot better at using soap and water."

Bonnie touches the curved petals, soft and white like fresh fallen snow. He thinks he's so clever, presenting funeral flowers as a peace offering. Closing her eyes, she mutters a spell, erecting a barrier around the house. When she turns around, she catches him looking at her with raised eyebrows.

"I told you. There's no need to involve any more people."

"So you cast a spell to trap us here? You know how much I hate restrictions."

"You can leave at any time. It only prevents entry."

He laughs. "This is why I like you, Bon. Loyal to the very end. Always risking it all to save the undeserving."

Her body flares with anger, but she smothers the fire with a slow blink and exhales the poisonous smoke with a sigh. "This is between us."

Kai hums speculatively, prowling closer to her. "And what exactly is _this_?"

Bonnie doesn't bother trying to steady her pulse. He's too close, causing her heart to pound wildly at the proximity to danger. She instinctively steps back and grips the table behind her for support. "1994. It's why you've been so fixated on me."

"I'm listening," he says with a slow grin, head bent down towards her. "Go on. Tell me."

It sounds like a dare. Like he didn't believe she'd have the right answer. Or even if she did, that she wouldn't have the guts to say it out loud. He _would_ be so childish.

"I don't have to. You said it yourself." She leans in, closing some of the distance between them and watching his pupils expand like black holes. " _That's why I like you, Bon._ "

He tilts his head, smile still in place. "I don't follow."

"Yes you do. You've been following _me_ , an unseen shadow hovering at my back. At least that's what you wanted me to believe, isn't it? That this is all part of your big evil plan." _No_ , she chastises herself, _sweeten it up_. "But it's not. The truth is that you like me, don't you? You want me so much you can't stay away," she says softly, letting her eyes drop to his lips.

He looks at her in surprise. Then he bursts out laughing in her face. His tall form nearly bends in half under the weight of his amusement. He stumbles away and leans against a wall as he catches his breath.

"Oh I needed that, Bonster. You are just so _cute_ , you know," he gestures searchingly at her with uncontained glee, "with your little ideas."

It almost works.

There's a frantic moment where doubt overwhelms her reasoning, but his sneering face jogs something in her memory. She's seen that expression many times before all throughout school. A parade of boys sweating with anxious hope and sweet faces tightening into scowls and stilted versions of a careless shrug when Elena gently said no or when Caroline scoffed incredulously.

 _He's deflecting._

"And yet I'm not wrong," Bonnie says, releasing her hold on the table and leans on it instead, adopting the signature unimpressed manner cheer captain Caroline used when dealing with a scorned suitor.

"Love the confidence, Bon."

She raises an eyebrow at him. "I don't hear you denying it."

"It goes without saying!" Kai regards her with smoke-colored eyes. "Funny how you're accusing me of having feelings when you're the one _literally_ dreaming of me."

"Says the guy _following_ me around everywhere," Bonnie snaps back. "And you've said plenty already, with your flirting and your _gift_ and your cryptic talk about everything leading to us. It's not a hard conclusion to draw."

He sighs, his shoulders lifting slightly before dropping. "You're never going to figure it out on your own. Everything leads to us because _you_ made it that way." He pushes off the wall and meanders toward her. "I thought long and hard about what I should do to you when I got out of 1903. Death was obvious and well deserved, but too quick for my tastes. Then I remembered how we met and all the quality alone time we had. You wanted to trap us in 1994 forever. You failed, clearly, but I've since realized it must've cost you so much to toss the key to freedom away, to pass it to _Damon_ of all people, and give up everything to be with me. How much did that hurt, Bon?"

She doesn't dare to breathe. Kai, looming over her now, gently tucks her hair behind her ear. "That pesky _Bonnie Bennett_ loyalty." The way he mocks her name makes her hate everything about it. "What better punishment could I offer other than giving you exactly what you wanted? I promise you that for the rest of my undead life I will be there wherever you go. Every time you turn a corner or breathe one sigh of relief, know that I'm only a heartbeat away. You will never be free of me."

Bonnie does her best not to throw up at his proximity. His magic reeks of blood and rot and wanting. Always wanting. Despite the space between their bodies, or perhaps because of it, she can still sense his ravenous magic reaching out for her. It's his silent tell, and it gives her the resolve to press on.

"Do you even hear yourself?" she murmurs, lifting her chin and bringing their faces closer. "You're dedicating your eternal life to me. All that's missing is a ring to make your _evil plan_ sound like a proposal."

A slow smile stretches across his face. "If I got down on my knee right now, would you say yes?"

She scoffs. "What if I killed myself to get away from you?"

"You wouldn't," he says, laughing as if she just told a great joke.

"Don't act like you know me. I almost did back in your prison world."

"That's the difference, isn't it? You're not there anymore. Neither of us are. We made it out." He dips his head and he's so close now that she can feel the air between them tremble when he speaks in a low, gravelly tone. "After existing for so long between life and death, we're both desperate to live. No matter the cost."

The instinctive retort dissolves in her mouth. She's dizzy with shock, the truth of his words makes her heart pound. All of her other senses fade as she stares at him, astonished. His expression loses the cruel amusement. Instead, there's an intensity in his dilated gaze that demands a concession, that _dares_ her to say otherwise. While a part of her denies that they are anything alike, he's not wrong about everything. She does want to live. After everything she's been through, wasn't that fair? For him to understand that and vocalize it softens the edges of her hatred for him. It's easier to look at him and think that he really is handsome.

"And what kind of life would that be without feelings?" She deliberately drops her gaze to linger on his lips before meeting his near-black stare.

Kai blinks, startled, then scoffs and walks away. "So this is your play. Not interested," he calls over his shoulder.

Bonnie follows him into the kitchen, determined to not let him escape. She finds him rummaging through her kitchen cabinets, slamming the doors closed in disappointment. "Where do you Bennetts keep the good stuff? I'm going to need something to get through this lecture."

"We both know I'm your switch."

"You give yourself too much credit, Bon." He gives up the search and lets his eyes leisurely roam her body. "But I will admit you definitely turn me on."

A hysterical giggle catches in her throat. The absurdity of him using a pick up line has her thinking of Cullen wincing in the coffee shop and asking for a do-over. Sweet Cullen, face down in the pool, tanned skin tinted blue with death. She remembers Caroline egging her on about him in their Whitmore apartment, and wonders how angry her friend is now, trapped inside by her spell. Would Caroline think it was Kai's handiwork instead of hers?

The giggle morphs into a sob that she swallows down. She's losing her mind.

 _Focus!_

Clenching her teeth, Bonnie eats the distance between them with quick, long strides and reaches up to cradle his face in her hands. He inhales sharply, stilling underneath her touch.

"Then let me." She tugs a little, fingertips prickling at the stubble along his jawline, and he bends easily down towards her. Bonnie draws him as close as she dares, letting her eyes fall to his lips again, only this time her tongue darts out to wet her own. It attracts his heated gaze immediately. "Let it back in, Kai, and I'll be here. I promise. You don't have to be alone anymore."

He leans into her hands, eyes sliding shut, before he reels back, dazed. He shakes his head violently, as if to throw off her touch. As if by their proximity, he accidentally got caught in her orbit and would've happily burned up in her atmosphere before realizing he wasn't supposed to want to fall into her gravitational pull in the first place. And from the way he's so clearly struggling to maintain his composure—the slight tremor in his clenched fists, the frustrated furrow of his brows, and the inability to draw his reddening eyes away from her lips—she sees that he still wants it, _wants her_ , and presses her advantage.

"In your letters, you said I was the first person you saw in eighteen years. Is that true?"

"Yes." He immediately looks furious, pressing his lips together in a severe line to stop his body from betraying him again.

Bonnie is dizzy with adrenaline. Was this how Elena and Caroline felt? This heady sensation of having a predator entranced. Elena constantly in danger, _choosing_ danger, to be with Damon. Caroline delicately navigating the minefields that come with Klaus's attention in order to secure his protection. However fleeting this moment is, having this much sway over Kai is intoxicating.

"It must have killed you when I said you didn't change, that you couldn't change."

For a moment, the veins near his eyes pulse with blood as his vision bleeds over. It fades away as he reins in his emotions. "This history lesson is boring."

"I think that deep down, you still want that second chance," she presses on.

He laughs. "Someone needs a refresher course on vampires with no humanity." Between one breath and the next, he slams her on the kitchen counter, standing between her knees and pinning her hands down with his own. She screams when his palms glow red. "I don't care what you think."

"I can give that to you," She pants. Her heartbeat throbs in her ears. "I wasn't ready before, but if you turn it back on, I promise I'll believe in you."

Gray eyes bleed over. "The only thing you can give me is a drink." His fangs sink deep into the purple bruise he left on her neck. His hands glide up her arms to hold her head in place as he takes and takes and _takes_.

" _Kai,_ _please_ ," she whimpers, trying to find an anchor against the pain and ends up clinging to him. She claws at the back of his neck and his shoulders, trying to pull him away. He moans against her neck and drinks deeper, pressing her closer to him. Her vision goes white momentarily. She starts to lose feeling in her hands and feet.

When he finally draws back, face feral with her blood smeared across his mouth, Bonnie looks at him and thinks it's all so familiar. Her nightmare in daylight, only worse. This time, without the sheets and warmth of her dreams, the only passion between them is his desire to drain her dry. If he wasn't holding her so tightly, she would've fallen to the floor like one of Caroline's empty blood bags. That's all she is to him.

Bonnie knows she should be terrified, but she isn't. Instead, she feels untethered to reality. He's speaking, but she can't hear him over the slow, aching thump of her heartbeat. None of this seems real. Her eyes flicker between his moving lips and his dilated eyes. She's seen him like this before. The memory floats up like a wisp of smoke. She may not be able to hear what he's saying, but she remembers what he wants, what her dreams told her he wants.

A kiss.

Head spinning, she presses her lips against his, cutting herself on his fangs. The sting clears her mind.

This is real. She's dying and kissing him and it's just like her dreams.

He freezes in place. His mouth is soft and hot and she doesn't know what he tastes like. She can't, not when the sour-sweet taste of her blood fills her mouth. Or maybe that's what it's been all along: her final death. She pulls away, peppering his lips with light kisses to ease the break. Bonnie presses her hand against his chest and is distantly surprised to feel him trembling. She tries to reach him one more time.

"I'm sorry. Please come back to me. We can give each other a second chance."

His stare drills into her, but she can't bring herself to care as the cold spreads throughout her body.

Kai close his eyes for a moment, as if he were concentrating on a spell, before fluttering them open again.

"Bonnie." Her name sounds different this time, like an answered prayer acknowledged on a fragile exhale. "Oh god. _Bonnie_. What have I done?"

He turned it back on. It's in the alarm spreading across his face, and in the careful yet desperate way he gathers her dead weight in his arms.

She was right about him after all.

Her head lulls to the side as her vision dims along the edges. Still, she can't help but smile in vindication. "Hi."

"You're okay. You're going to be fine." He sounds so far away. "Bonnie, stay with me."

Something wet presses against her lips and fills her mouth.

The darkness takes over her.

 **xxx**

She wakes up thirsty.

An arm slides under her neck and lifts her up. The brim of a cup rests on the seam of her mouth and cool water laps against her lips. She drinks slowly, washing away the stale taste of blood in her mouth. Peeking through her lashes, Kai's face comes into focus. He's the one holding her up.

"Hi," he says with a relieved smile.

She turns her head to the side and he pulls the cup away. Looking around, she realizes that they're in her bedroom. Her body feels stiff underneath the blanket. Every joint seems to creak when she moves her limbs to push herself into an upright position. He leans back, giving her space.

"I feel like death," she groans.

"Perfectly normal when you're transitioning. You'll feel better once we get some blood in you."

Oxygen freezes in her lungs.

"Kidding!" he jokes, and then wilts under her glare. "Sorry. That was inappropriate. You're not dead. I can hear your heart beating."

Rage suddenly constricts her chest. She's not dead, but not because he hasn't tried killing her. How many times has he broken the skin on her neck and moaned with the knowledge that she was helpless and dying in his arms? How many times has she looked up at his red-stained face with her heart struggling to pump what little blood was left in her veins? A beating heart didn't necessarily mean life. Did he rip out Jen's heart to see how long it would tick outside of the body? She remembers the warm weight of the organ in her palms. Was Jen alive just minutes before the box appeared on her doorstep? And _Cullen_. Her fingers twist in the blanket when she imagines him in the middle of the pool, injured and terrified. His body stiff and sinking under the weight of his panic. Screaming from the pain of trying swim with his useless hands, and losing precious air. His warm body growing cold as it floats in still water.

And she knows Kai had been watching from the sideline, laughing the entire time.

 _How great is the irony that a swimming athlete drowns?_

She looks at him sitting on the end of her bed in her room and feels a scream building in her gut. How _dare_ he step foot inside her space again?

"Bonnie?"

The hesitant tone stills the madness in her head. He looks worried. His face is clean. She touches her neck, her fingers finding no raised puncture wounds. _He flipped the switch,_ she remembers. As hard as it is for her to look at him and not crush his dead heart with her magic, she tells herself that he's not the same person. This Kai isn't the humanity-free monster who did those things to her and to everyone around her. She didn't believe it before, and everything spiraled out of control. Now she knows better. This Kai is a monster she can bend to her will.

They are in her bedroom, after all.

She clears her throat and glances out her window. It's pitch black. "What time is it?"

"Late. Probably midnight." He turns to look outside. "I'm surprised I haven't heard any of your friends come knocking at your door. I at least expected Caroline to come screaming from the porch."

"You know that barrier spell I cast?"

"Yeah."

"I placed a similar one on her home when I left. You can get in, but you can't get out. I imagine everyone went over to her house and stayed there."

He gives her a wistful smile. "They're lucky to have you."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because it's true. You knew I wouldn't let them live if they got in the way again."

She leans against the headboard, unsure of what to say.

"I know I've said this before," he begins, gray eyes wide and nervous, "but I want to apologize for what I did to you when I turned my humanity off. That wasn't me. I mean, it was, technically. The old me. But I'm the new me. Again. Um, you know. Post-1994 but pre-1093."

"Kai," she interrupts.

"Right. So yeah. I'm sorry...again."

Bonnie looks at him and tells herself not to visibly hate him. "I forgive you." He's skeptical, so she amends, "I'm trying to."

He nods and looks down at her hands on her lap, barely half a foot away from where his rests on the edge of the bed. His hand jerks forward before retreating, his fingers digging into the blanket. He doesn't look up from the distance between them, the scant inches separating their fingertips, as though contemplating how he could cross the ocean of white cotton to the dreamt of shores of her welcoming touch.

"Did you mean it? The second chance?" he mumbles. The unspoken _with you_ hangs in the quiet room.

"Yes." She places her hand on his, twining their fingers together. His eyes dart up in surprise. "This is it. Don't blow it."

He stares at her, gray roaming over her features for a trick. Finding none, he cracks a wide, hopeful smile. Slowly, he dips head toward her, his pupils dilated. It's the same unspoken question. She can read it in the crinkle between his brows and hear it in the trembling exhale of an unneeded breath.

Bonnie looks at him and tastes blood in her mouth.

She reaches her other hand up and rests it on his cheek, his beard pricking her palm and draw him closer. _I've faced death before_ , she thinks as her green eyes drop to his lips before pressing hers to them, _and I'm still alive_. He pulls away with a sharp inhale, his gaze black with desire. She licks her lips, heart thundering in her ears. He darts forward, his tongue following the same path she traced on her bottom lip before slipping inside to find hers. He's too aggressive. She can hardly breathe with their noses pressed together and his tongue in her mouth. Her hand falls from his jawline to right above his silent dead heart, and pushes gently, wanting space.

His hand comes up to trap hers against his chest. The bed sinks under his weight as he kneels on the mattress. He releases their interlocked fingers and cradles the back of her head to hold her in place.

She twists her face away, gasping for air. He whines at the loss of contact.

"Kai, I can't breathe."

"Please don't make me stop," he begs against her cheekbone, pressing her hand harder against his chest. There's a moment when she thinks it will sink through skin and bone until she's literally holding his heart. "I know you don't trust me, but I swear this rotten thing in here is yours. You can desiccate me and I won't stop you. I deserve it. Just please keep lying to me. Let me pretend that you want me for a little bit longer. _Please_."

She's still trying to catch her breath when the desperation etched across his face makes the air stall in her lungs. His breathless plea brings her dream to the forefront of her mind. As much as she wants to melt the flesh off his bones for daring to ask anything of her, this is what she wants. Him on his knees, willing to do anything to stay in her good graces. Inhaling one last deep breath, she aligns her lips with his. This is what she needs to do to save everyone.

"Go easy," she instructs. "You're a lot stronger than you used to be."

He nods, dark eyes moving across her features with such heat, she feels it like a phantom caress.

This time she sets the pace, slows it down. The brush of his stubbled jaw against her skin sparks something hungry inside of her. She tugs on his bottom lip, making him growl. Her tongue slips inside his mouth and finally, she can taste him. He whimpers against her, eagerly matching her rhythm. Releasing her for a moment, he tosses the blanket aside and slides her down on the bed. The line between her dream and reality disappears as he settles his large body on top of her. In that moment, she forgets everything about him except for how good he feels against her and how she can't get enough of him. Her breath grows shallow as she kisses him harder. She loves the appreciative sounds he makes. She loves the way he tastes.

Pulling back for air, Bonnie's scrapes her teeth on his scruffy jawline.

"I do want you, Kai," she murmurs. _I want you and I hate it_.

He whispers her name over and over against her temple like a prayer. It's flattering. She smiles, giggling against him.

He pulls away to look at her. The hard, desperate lines of desire on his face fade into a gentle expression. A sudden impulse comes over her and she slides her hands up to run through his hair. He pouts, but indulges her.

"What's that for?"

She doesn't know how to tell him that this moment is so familiar to her. His hair is messy, his lips are swollen, and his eyes are soft with affection. "I'm glad you're back."

Kai lights up. That hesitant smile she saw in the snow covered forest snow makes an appearance once more. This is someone she can control. As long as he wants her, she can bend him to her will.

"No one's ever said that to me before," he confesses. "If you keep this up, I'm going to have trouble letting you go."

She rolls her eyes and shoves him away. He falls next to her on the bed. "Somehow I doubt that was ever an option you considered."

He props his head up and shrugs with an unrepentant grin. She turns on her side to face him. They don't speak. Somewhere in the silence, Bonnie feels the anger building in her again. She looks at him and instead of becoming distracted by his good looks, she's consumed with the desire to fuse his mouth shut so that he can never bite her again.

"What was it like when you turned it off?"

His smile disappears. He scoots down, lowering his head onto the pillow so that they were eye level. "It felt like I was me again. Before the merge. I could see other people reacting to the things I did, and it didn't matter. It was liberating to only care about me and what I wanted again." He reaches out and strokes the curve of her cheekbone. "But there's this catch, you see. I wasn't pre-merge anymore. You were always there, and when no one else was supposed to matter, you still did."

"Because I'm the one you care about the most."

"It's not hard since all the other contenders are dead." He closes his eyes when she tenses under his fingertips, and drops his hand to the bed. "Sorry. That's not funny either. Guess I have a long way to go if I'm going to crack your top three." Gray eyes peek up at her through his lashes. "The thing about the humanity switch is that even when you turn it off, it doesn't make anything go away. The emotions find more creative ways to push against that wall. I didn't admit it then, but I dreamed of you too."

"You did?"

He nods. "There was one where we were back on your campus and I watched you practice dancing. You were all business until I made you have fun and swept you off your feet. It felt like you were really there with me. Even with my humanity turned off, I remember wishing it was real."

It's the dream Caroline described. She remembers her friend's delicate observation: _He likes you_.

But it was more than that. What Caroline hadn't been willing to say was: _He's in love with you_.

Her stomach churns. Her heartbeat speeds up.

"What I've learned from this whole experiment is that you're running away. When you stop running, you realize that the distance you wanted was never there to begin with. The only thing you lose with the switch is time, and I can't afford to do that anymore."

"That's hardly true, given what you are and all. If you play your cards right and stay out of trouble, you could live forever."

He pierces her with the look in his gray eyes. "You won't though."

He's measuring the length of his eternal life by her handful of human years. She can see the torment the thought of her death causes him. It's achingly romantic and completely unfair because why does it have to be him?

"You hardly know me," she whispers.

"I want to. Tell me everything."

The weight of his anticipation exhausts her. "It's late. All I want right now is sleep."

"I should go." He rises and reaches for the blanket to wrap it around her. His hand lingers on her shoulder.

She rolls over on her side, facing away from him. "You can stay if you want."

Despite her weariness, she can feel his surprise and delight in the air like an electric current. The bed dips and his arm bands around her waist over the blanket. He fits his large body around hers, careful not to cross any unspoken boundaries that would have her rescind her invitation. Once he settles in, he exhales and presses his face against her neck.

She flinches.

It shatters the fantasy.

Bonnie grasps his hand before he can pull away, interlocking their fingers together.

"You don't have to—"

"This second chance was never going to be easy," she interrupts, bringing their hands to rest over her pounding heart. "One conversation isn't going to erase the history between us. We need to give it time."

Kai doesn't speak. His doubt chills her skin. Bonnie clutches his hand tighter.

After a few tense moments, his thumb rubs her collarbone soothingly. It calms her nerves.

He relaxes and nuzzles the back of her neck. "Goodnight, Bonnie."

"Goodnight, Kai," she breathes. Just before she closes her eyes, she catches part of their reflection in her mirror. The sight of his long pale fingers interlocked with hers brings a smile to her lips.

The light switch flips off.

Darkness settles over the room.

 **xxx**

Dusk falls by the time they make it to Caroline's house.

"Remember what we discussed," Bonnie warns as they step on the porch.

"I'm on my best behavior. Scout's honor." Kai does a half salute.

"Bonnie?" Caroline's muffled voice floats through the door. "Bonnie is that you?"

"Yes, I'm here."

"Oh, thank god. Kai must've put a barrier spell on my house. Can you undo it? I've been stuck here with Damon and Stefan all night."

"Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? The justice system in this country is a mess."

Bonnie smacks his arm, but it's too late. There is a deafening silence from inside the house.

" _Kai!_ " Caroline bangs against the door. The barrier spell is the only thing keeping it intact under the onslaught. " _You stay away from her!_ "

"I'm fine, Care. Please just step back. I'll get rid of the spell."

"Allow me. You know how much I love your magic." Kai places his hand on the door frame and siphons off the spell. Once he's done, he opens the door with a flourish. "We're baaack!"

Caroline, Damon and Stefan tense up. Bonnie steps in front of Kai, hoping to diffuse the situation.

"Bonnie, what's going on?" Stefan keeps his eyes trained on Kai.

"It's okay. You guys—" She stops talking when Damon suddenly appears in front of her. He glares at Kai as his face tightens with the effort of trying to move his frozen body. She looks over her shoulder. " _Kai_."

He rolls his eyes at the reproach in her voice. "This is clearly self-defense."

"You promised you wouldn't attack."

"Trust me. I got this under control." He drops a kiss on her forehead and pulls her behind him.

Caroline gasps, affronted by his casual affection. "What is going on?" She looks at Bonnie, absolutely horrified.

Kai claps his hands as he faces the other. "Hey, so I know we've had a rough couple of starts, but now that my humanity is back, I think you all deserve a clean slate. In fact, in the interest of saving time, why don't we all do this team building exercise by playing a game called _Kai Says and You Do_? It's kinda like _Simon Says_ , but the difference is that you'll be physically incapable of disobeying direct orders, so everyone's a winner."

"You're insane if you think we're going along with this," Caroline sneers, widening her stance.

"Okay, let's get started. Kai Says: don't move."

"Bonnie, now would be the time to zap his brain or something," Damon grits out.

"Kai Says: Damon shut up." His lips snap together and he looks at Kai with murderous blue eyes. "Great job, Damon! You're a natural at this."

"You don't need to do this Kai," Stefan says, struggling against the spell.

Bonnie grabs Kai's arm, squeezing it in warning.

"Why aren't you affected by this?" Caroline asks her.

Kai shakes off Bonnie's grip, and laces their fingers together. "We're already a team, isn't that right?" He beams, swinging their hands teasingly.

She lets out a long-suffering sigh. "You're enjoying this way too much."

"No such thing." He steps over the threshold into Damon's personal space with a smirk. "Kai Says: walk into the living room, sit down, and put on your listening ears. We've got things to discuss."

Her friends walk to the living room, each movement stilted and awkward.

"How are you doing this?" Caroline asks in alarm as she falls on the couch. She pushes up on her arms, but her lower body remains unmoving on the cushion. "You shouldn't be able to compel us."

"I'm not compelling you. I'm forcing you with my magic. _Duh_."

Bonnie digs her nails into his skin, making him flinch. "Be nice."

"This is nice. I haven't spilled a drop of blood yet. _You_ on the other hand are dangerously close to doing just that."

"Be _nicer_."

"Fine." Kai smiles pleasantly at his unwilling audience. "So! Now that Bonnie and I are going steady, I guess that makes us all friends."

"This isn't the 1950s. No one says _going steady_ anymore, and we're _not_ friends," Caroline snarls.

"Okay, let me rephrase that. Bonnie and I are hooking up—"

"Ugh!" Caroline drops her head into her hands.

" _Kai_ ," Bonnie hisses, squeezing his hand.

"—so unless you all do me a really big solid by falling off the face of the earth, we're gonna have to learn to get along. I'm proposing a ceasefire—you're welcome, by the way—and will lay down the rules of how this is going to go."

"You're calling this hostage situation a truce?" Stefan comments incredulously.

"Don't be so dramatic."

"We literally can't stand up because of you."

"That's for your own good. If one of you tries to attack me, I'll have no choice but to kill you and Bonnie doesn't want that. Onto the negotiations. We are all going to make nice with each other. There will be no backstabbing and no secret plot to kill me. In return, I will help you with your Sleeping Beauty problem."

Bonnie watches as her friends sit up straighter, their glares softening with anxious hope.

"Why should we trust you?" Caroline narrows her eyes at him.

"You don't have to trust him," Bonnie interjects, "but please trust me. This will work."

"Here, I'll extend the first show of faith," Kai offers, raising his hand.

Nothing happens. Stefan looks around with an impatient frown. Just as he's about to complain, his legs twitch. The spell is gone. He stands up. Caroline gets to her feet as well. Damon remains sitting and mute, his blue eyes bright with outrage.

Bonnie squeezes Kai's hand. "What about Damon?"

The corners of his lips tighten. "Our history runs a little deeper. He can stay seated, but I guess we do have freedom of speech in this country."

"Kai," Damon says in a calm, threatening manner, "I will forgive you for all of this if you get to the part where you unlink Bonnie and Elena's life."

Kai bursts out laughing. "Oh, well then I better hurry up. Who cares about your forgiveness?"

Bonnie releases a wisp of her magic and burns his hand.

"Ouch!" Kai gives her a wounded look. She levels an unimpressed stare at him. "Fine. Look, it's simple. My spell won't allow for any known loopholes because I'm the super smart and super powerful leader of a now defunct coven. The only way around it is for Bonnie to die."

" _That's_ your plan?" Caroline asks in disbelief.

"Don't interrupt me. Didn't your mommy teach you any manners before she kicked the bucket?"

Caroline rushes at him, but falls to the floor when he boils her blood in her veins.

" _Kai!_ " Bonnie's voice is sharp with displeasure.

He lifts the spell. "Right. Sorry, Caroline. That was insensitive of me. I'm a work in progress."

Stefan helps Caroline back to the couch.

"Anyway, as I was saying. Bonnie gave me the CliffsNotes version of the history of vampirism this morning. A tale of love, betrayal, obsession, revenge, all the ingredients of a typical soap opera, except that it's real and _really_ bloody. The cure was also a very interesting plot twist. I didn't realize that it could be transferred over from one person to the next, but you know what? Good on Quetsiyah. She built in a contingency plan in case some other random vampire decides to take it before Silas could get to it. Failsafes are important. So, why am I bringing this up?"

"Get to the point, Kai," Damon growls.

"Magic operates on balance. Anything can be undone, even death. All you need is a loophole."

Damon narrows his eyes. "You said you rigged it so that any work-around would kill them both."

"And you believed me?" Kai laughs. "Anyway. When I linked Elena and Bonnie, I didn't know about the cure—your loophole, in case you weren't following along. Here's what will happen. Bonnie already has my blood in her system. All she needs to do is take a short nap, and ta-da! Bonnie's dead and Elena wakes up. Damon take the cure from Elena, and you two can live the rest of your semi-natural years together as boring old humans."

"Bonnie would never agree to this." Caroline turns her blue eyes on her friend. "You love being a witch."

"Care, we can have Elena back."

She shakes her head. "Not like this. She wouldn't want it this way."

"Why can't Bonnie take the cure from Elena after she wakes up?" Stefan stares Kai down, crossing his arms. "Damon takes it from Bonnie and everyone is back to normal."

"First of all, no one is drinking from Bonnie again if I have anything to say about it. Secondly, must I repeat myself constantly to you people? Failsafes are super important. On the off-chance my spell picks up that both Elena and Bonnie are human and awake, they'll both die the true blue death. Bonnie will remain a vampire, a dead, or undead—whatever you kids call it these days—supernatural being that is not classified as _alive_ , until Elena dies a slow human death."

"How sure are you that this will work?" Stefan asks.

"Pretty sure."

"You're risking their lives on a 'pretty sure' guess?"

Kai raises an eyebrow. "If any of you have a better idea, let's hear it." When no one speaks, he continues, "That's what I thought. You all were hunting me down for a reason, after all. So why don't we move this party on down to the boarding house?"

"I'd love to, but for some reason, I can't seem to get up," Damon says lightly.

"Oh right. You." Kai snaps his fingers.

Damon stands, shuffling around to test that his body is his own again. In the blink of an eye, he's across the room, slamming Kai into the wall. "I'm all for this plan, Kai, especially since I didn't hear anything part of it requiring you to be alive."

Kai heaves a sigh. "This is why we have trust issues, Damon."

"Still don't hear a reason. In that case—"

"Where is dear Elena, anyway? Still in that tacky family crypt?"

"Damon hand spasms against Kai's throat. "What?"

"I'm just saying." Kai brings his wrist up to his face and glances at his watch. "It's 8PM. Do you know where your girlfriend is?"

"What did you do with her, you freak?" Damon's eyes bleed over.

"Call it insurance."

Caroline flashes to Bonnie's side, pulling her attention away from the fight.

"Bonnie, you don't have to do this," she whispers, pulling her to the opposite corner of the room.

"Yes, I do. I'm his anchor, Care. I can keep him in check."

"I wasn't even talking about him, but since the subject's come up. Kai is a _psycho_. He is not your responsibility."

"He's in love with me."

Caroline looks murderous. " _So what?_ He killed his _pregnant_ _twin_ _sister_ at her _wedding_. You think I care about his feelings? I—" She takes a sharp, calming inhale. "Forget everything I just said. Do you want to be with him?"

Bonnie's mind flashes to her and Kai tangled in bed together. "I think I have to."

"That is _not_ good enough. Do you love him?"

"I hate him." But she won't always feel that way. Her dreams showed her that much. It's a tough truth to accept. The idea being in love with Kai is unfathomable. She wants to incinerate him every time he touches her. How could this all-consuming rage inside her allow any room for anything else? "It's complicated, but trust me. This will all work out in time."

Caroline throws her hands up. "You know what? We'll agree to disagree for now. That's not the most pressing thing on my mind. Bonnie, you don't have to become a vampire. We'll find another way to get Elena back."

Bonnie shakes her head. "There is no other way. Kai made the spell. He would know if there was."

"He didn't even know about the cure until you told him! There has to be another unknown loophole we can use that doesn't involve you dying," she insists.

"Caroline." Bonnie rests her hands on her friend's tense shoulders. "I know what it's like to be stuck out of time. I won't allow Elena to go through that. Besides, this way we can all live our lives together, just the way we planned to when we were kids."

"You hate vampires," Caroline says miserably.

"I love you." Bonnie grins. "Besides, there are some perks to it. I'll be harder to kill. We'll get another lifetime together. You'll help me adjust. More importantly, I won't suffer the injustice of being the first to grow old when I'm the youngest out of the three of us."

Caroline laughs in spite of herself. "You would've aged beautifully."

"Well, now I won't age at all." Bonnie hugs her tightly. "Everything's going to be fine."

"I love you too." Caroline leans her head against Bonnie's. "And I'm selfish enough to be glad I get more time with you."

Bonnie smiles. "Me too."

They pull away in time to see Damon release Kai with a scowl.

Kai shrugs, straightening his clothes. His gray eyes lock onto her green ones and the meanness in him bleeds out. He holds out his hand and she goes to him. When she's close enough, he frames her face with his hands and presses a kiss to her forehead.

"Don't worry, Bon," he assures in a low, rumbling voice. "You won't feel a thing."

 **xxx**

Kai peruses the Salvatore liquor cabinet before settling on the most expensive looking bottle. It's good, but the itch in the back of his throat is still there. Blood is the only thing that will sate his hunger.

He's learning to live with it.

"Sure. Help yourself." Damon offers sarcastically as he enters the living room.

Kai plops down on the couch and raises his drink. "Already have. Cheers!"

Damon scowls. "Stefan and Caroline think Bonnie will wake up within the hour."

Kai downs the rest of his drink and contemplates if it's worth getting off the couch for another round.

"Since they're preoccupied with the transition, I thought we could have a little chat. There's one thing that's been bothering me since your oh so gracious return to your less evil self."

"I'm listening." He decides against more bourbon and puts the glass on the coffee table. It's not his drink of choice anyway.

Damon sits on the other couch, facing him. "I know you, Kai. You don't do anything unless there's something in it for you. So, just between you and me, what's your angle?"

Gray eyes flicker over to Damon. "I'm surprised you haven't connected the dots yet, what with your history with Elena and all." A smirk creeps on his face.

"I'm not patient enough to play twenty one questions with you. Just spit it out."

"Well, one upside to me doing a work-around on my spell is that it puts me in Bonnie's good graces, and by extension yours."

He scoffs. "I wouldn't bet on that."

"Not even a year in and you've been twitching to snap Bonnie's neck. With Elena awake and well, you've got no reason to attack my girl and jeopardize your precious little relationship with yours. This is really a win-win for both of us."

Damon narrows his eyes. "Keep digging. That's a reason, but it's not nearly selfish enough for a screwball like you."

"I also get to have Bonnie for the next sixty years without worrying about her dying permanently on me through natural or supernatural causes. She'll be a lot more durable as a vampire. I just need to keep her away from splinters, of course."

"Getting warmer."

Kai laughs. "Tell me, how did Elena become a vampire again?"

"She had my blood in her system when her car went off a bridge."

"Uh huh. And what happened after that?"

"You do realize it's exactly what Bonnie's going through now, right? Elena woke up and drank blood—" Damon's eyes widen and his jaw drops. "You sneaky son of a bitch," he breathes, a little in awe at the scheme. "You're vying for a sire bond."

Kai smirks. "Very good, Damon. You're smarter than I gave you credit for. Points off for figuring it out too late though."

"Hate to break it to you, but it won't work. You repulse her."

"Do I? Before the switch, I totally see it. But now that I'm reuniting old cheer squad? I think I've won some good karma there. Also, she confessed to having dreams about me when I turned my humanity off. That's gotta mean something good's in store for me."

"More like nightmares."

"Jealous?" Kai teases, a whisper of a threat in his tone. "Too bad. I'm giving you beautifully human Elena Gilbert back in exchange for getting breathtaking, immortal Bonnie Bennett. Granted she might not be eager to walk down the aisle with me yet, you know, given my history with weddings and all, but I can be patient." He places his feet on the table, ignoring Damon's glare. "Bonnie thought she could control me, being my emotional trigger and all, so this is me evening the playing field. If she gets to have so much power over my feelings, it's only fair that I have equal sway over hers. It doesn't have to be love, but there needs to be a balance."

Damon shrugs, relaxing into his seat with a smile. "A sire bond is one of the rarest things to occur. You've got a better chance of getting into heaven than siring Bonnie to you."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe Bonnie will just be another run-of-the-mill vampire. But we both know that girl is something special. And so am I. I'm the last living Heretic, one of seven in the history of our kind, and I've just turned my very first human." Kai stares Damon down. "Don't you think the odds are in my favor?"

Tension stiffens Damon's shoulders. "You've got sixty years. _Tops_. Bonnie's going to want to be human again, and she'll never want to stay with you once she finds out about your manipulative little plan."

"Not if it means leaving Best Friend Caroline alone. Not if her sire wants her to remain a vampire." Kai stands up, towering over Damon. "I don't need a coven, Damon. All I need is a partner, and I've got that with Bonnie."

"That's not the plan you proposed to us," he grits out.

"Oh, that whole cure version of Hot Potato?" Kai waves his hand dismissively. "Yeah, that was never going to work."

Damon freezes. " _Excuse me?_ " Before Kai can respond, he's lifted off his feet in a chokehold. "You said this plan was going to work!"

"I don't believe I did," Kai rasps, wheezing as his circulation cuts off. He grabs onto Damon's hand and siphons enough of his vampirism to weaken him. Shoving him away, Kai clears his throat. "I merely offered a hypothesis. There's no guarantee my original spell won't still be in effect."

Red streaks across Damon's eyes. "You bastard."

Kai rolls his eyes. "Don't be so dramatic. I've got a stake in this outcome too, remember? Bonnie's transition might not work, and I wasn't going to risk her life on a maybe. So tell me, Damon. What's the solution to the problem of a permanent spell binding our best girls together? I've already given you a hint."

"You're not going to mess with me," Damon growls. "Tell me what you did or your head is going to be rolling on the floor."

Kai juts out his lower lip. "Aw, are you feeling volatile again? You should really see a therapist about it. But I'll be nice. I siphoned the spell away." He laughs at the shocked look on Damon's face. "That's right. You were going to kill the only thing that could save Elena Gilbert. She's probably awake right now, freaking out in her coffin, and running out of air."

"What did you do with her?!" he bellows.

"I'm just giving you a choice. You can either give me your word that you won't rat me out to the others about Bonnie and I'll tell you where I buried your human girlfriend, or you can tell the others and risk Elena's life. Which will it be?"

They hear footsteps pounding on the staircase. Caroline stops halfway down and beams. "She's awake!"

Kai looks at Damon with a gleam in his eyes. "Moment of truth."

"Elena." Damon demands.

Kai heads toward the stairs, pausing when he reaches Damon. "Keep in mind that if you even think to double cross me, death will be the least of your problems. She's buried underneath the crypt."

Damon vanishes out the door.

"Where the hell is he going?" Caroline demands.

"He's getting Elena for the reunion," Kai explains as he passes her on the stairs.

Anticipation swells inside his chest like a heartbeat. He enters the room to see Stefan kneeling by the bed. Bonnie is sitting against the headboard, groggy but awake. A half empty blood bag rests in her hand. She turns and her eyes clear when she sees him. He barely contains his exultation.

"Kai." Her voice is rusty with death.

He winks. "Hi Bonster."

 **xxx**

 **End**


End file.
